FILMS: "Cthulhu - Silent... But Deadly!"

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TOP: Cthulhu comes to film (2005)! ...again!

Hi All,

There's a new (2005) Cthulhu film out. And while there's one newer (2007) Cthulhu film out, the 2005 edition is a SILENT film... very cool!

And here's what's been written about it:

Written in 1926, just before the advent of "talking" pictures, The Call of Cthulhu is one of the most famous and influential tales of H.P. Lovecraft, the father of gothic horror. Now the story is brought richly to life in the style of a classic 1920s silent movie, with a haunting original symphonic score. Using the "Mythoscope" process, a mix of modern and vintage techniques, the HPLHS has worked to create the most authentic and faithful screen adaptation of a Lovecraft story yet attempted.

From the cultists of the Louisana bayous to the man-eating non-Euclidean geometry of R'lyeh, the HPLHS brings Cthulhu to the screen as it was meant to be seen. Eighteen months of production and a cast of more than 50 actors went into making this film a period spectacle that must seen to be believed. The DVD includes The Call of Cthulhu (47 minutes, black and white), the high-fidelity and "Mythophonic" soundtracks, a 25 minute "making-of" documentary featurette, two slide shows, deleted footage, a prop PDF of the Sydney Bulletin and more.

TOP: Cthulhu takes a bath and a nap at the same time.

To appeal to Lovecraft fans throughout across the globe, this DVD provides inter-titles in 24 languages including: Catalan, Croatian, Czech, Danish, Dutch, English, Euskera, Finnish, French, Galician, German, Hungarian, Irish, Italian, Lithuanian, Luxmbourgish, Norwegian, Polish, Portuguese, Romanian, Spanish, Swedish, Turkish and Welsh. These aren't just subtitles either; they are the real title cards rendered tastefully in each language.

If you thought the story was scary before, wait until you see it in Welsh!

This is not the first Cthulhu film ever made, but it promises to be a good one...

Some of Cthulhu's other film appearences have included:

- (2007) Arkham NW Productions, a Seattle-based production company, produced a 2007 feature horror film titled Cthulhu loosely based on the short story "The Shadow Over Innsmouth", and also incorporating elements from several other Lovecraft stories. Cthulhu is a 2007 American thriller/horror movie, directed by Dan Gildark and was co-written by Grant Cogswell.
Link here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cthulhu_%282007_film%29

- (2005) The H. P. Lovecraft Historical Society (The film featured in this post) has produced an independent black-and-white silent film titled The Call of Cthulhu, based closely on Lovecraft's original story.
Link here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Call_of_Cthulhu_%28film%29

- (2001) "The Shadow Over Innsmouth" is the principal storyline in the 2001 film Dagon, which also credits the Lovecraft short story of the same name.

- (2000) "Cthulhu" is an Australian low budget horror film made in 1996-1997 and released in 2000, by producer-director Damian Heffernan. It was mostly based on the two Lovecraft stories: "The Thing on the Doorstep" and "The Shadow Over Innsmouth".
Link here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cthulhu_%282000_film%29

- (1991) Cast a Deadly Spell is a Horror/Detective HBO movie with Fred Ward, Julianne Moore and Clancy Brown. Ward stars as 1940's hardboiled private detective Phillip Lovecraft, in a parallel world in which magic is real, monsters and mythical beasts stalk the back alleys, zombies are used as cheap labor, and everyone -- except Lovecraft -- uses magic every day. Yet, cars, telephones and other modern technology also exist in this world. The movie is very much an homage to the works of H. P. Lovecraft. Though not based on any one particular story by Lovecraft, the film features many Lovecraftian tropes, and can be considered to take place against the unified backdrop which has come to be known as the Cthulhu Mythos. Frequent references are made to the Necronomicon, the Old Ones, and Yog Sothoth throughout the film.
Link here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cast_a_Deadly_Spell

To learn more about Cthulhu, please check out this link:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cthulhu

Have a great Tuesday!

Shalom,
Maksim-Smelchak.

P.S.

A special Ryleh greeting to my favorite Cthulhu cult member, Kimbo, out there!

Notes regarding photos / pictures / videos: These are not all my images and videos. I am using various images and videos from around the web, mostly from public sources and/or private sources used with permission. I have tried to include only images and videos under public domain, creative commons, or fair use. If I have inadvertently violated any copyrights, please inform me and I will remove your image/s (if it is indeed an infringement).

FOOD: The Serenity Flies Again! ...And Then Gets Eaten!

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Hey Kimbo! Cool game cake, huh?

Hi All,

That crazy Nils... I've never quite figured out what he really does for a living, but I figure that in the end of ends, he's gotten some kind of government grant to surf the Internet everyday as a "study." I say that because he always find this wacky, but intensely amusing stuff...

So, somehow we get to "E-chatting" about cakes one day and what does he come up with but these:

Any Browncoat (Firefly/Serenity fan) would love this masterpiece!

Dun, dun, dun, duh, dun, dun, dun, duh, dun... In a galaxy...

They're not cheap at five-hundred smackers a pop for starters, but they SHORE are cool!

I think if I ever bought one, I'd have to encase it in carbonite or something...

And the chef's name is REALLY Chef Duff! How cool is that?


His name reminds me of Crime Dog McGruff!

"Take a bite out of crime! And Charm City Cakes!"

Crime Dog McGruff even has his own web site.

Check it out here:
http://www.mcgruff-tid.com/

And, oh yeah, here's the Charm City Cakes web site:
http://www.charmcitycakes.com/

Have a great Tuesday!

Shalom,
Maksim-Smelchak.

P.S.
I have another theory that Nils is the webmaster for the Elder Gods from the Chthulhu mythos... but I have less evidence of that than the government grant theory... I can picture him chanting around a circle of black candles and applying Chthulhu bumper stickers to his car though.

Notes regarding photos / pictures / videos: These are not all my images and videos. I am using various images and videos from around the web, mostly from public sources and/or private sources used with permission. I have tried to include only images and videos under public domain, creative commons, or fair use. If I have inadvertently violated any copyrights, please inform me and I will remove your image/s (if it is indeed an infringement).

GAMING NEWS: Cats Gone WILD!

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Kimbo is the "big dog" that keeps the rest of us "cats" in order! Me, especially!

Hi Everyone,

Another week has passed and what a weird week it was... I started a new job on Tuesday, we had Monday off (at least State workers did), saw a foreign film "Pan's Labyrinth" on the Monday I had off, my job had a "Winterfest holiday party" Thursday afternoon, and the flu caught up to me on Friday. Top that off with the date that I have today and the week makes a full circle.

This was my week! I'm the cat... living precariously in a world of dogs.

On Wednesday, I was able to catch up with my mates for a rare Wednesday evening game... one I haven't been able to make since I started a new job around August last year (2006). And unfortunately it might be the last one I'll make for awhile yet since at my even newer job I'm now low man on the totem pole and will have to cover a later shift (I'd hoped to get an earlier one). But these things happen so... que sera, sera! I have to apologize to my friends on Wednesday night since I arrived in a slightly grumpy mood... not the best way to game. Sorry, guys!

We played two games this past Wednesday evening (17 January 2007):

1. Taj Mahal

- Interesting game with a big learning curve. I recommend playing it once through with a partial game before starting a full length game in earnest. It has a large number of scoring mechanisms, which can be difficult for a player to grasp until he or she has played through the game at least once.

- Taj Mahal is basically a card set collecting game, with a map area-to-area scoring function thrown in. It reminds me a little of Ticket To Ride - Marklin Edition. Kimbo was the only one who knew what he was doing and was able to get a very large lead early on that none of the rest of us could close. Mazel Tov, Kimbo!

2. Iliade

- Another card set collecting game with gambits thrown in. Pretty simplistic and very unforgiving since it's possible to get a negative score without much effort. Like many other card games, card counters can benefit from this game by keeping track of the deck. It's not a bad game, but it also probably won't ever become one of my favorites.
- I took an early lead in this game as I quickly saw a good strategy for the game, BUT I'd forgotten that the rest of the guys FEAR and RESPECT me so I was pegged for elimination by the rest of the chain gang. I guess the strategy I'll need to employ is the "last-minute come-around" if I'm to have a chance at winning anymore. The guys were even targetting me over the bigger threats in the game. That's my fault for being obvious. Oh, well. Dave won. Mazel Tov, Dave!

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Charley wasn't able to make it so I'm including some cat photos that I found around the 'net with this post in his honor. Urah, Charley!

Charley, this Buds for YOU, man!

Charley, I found some of the cool cat photos here:

http://mfrost.typepad.com/cute_overload/

And, BEWARE!

They weren't kidding when they named the site "Cute Overload!"

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I hope everyone has a great day!

Shabbat Shalom,
Maksim-Smelchak.

P.S.

And this last photo is for my roommate's girlfriend, Susan, a Scrabble fanatic:

POOOOP for 10 points!

P.S.S.

Thanks to BGG and numerous cat sites around the 'net for the photos!

Notes regarding photos / pictures: These are not all my images. I am using various images from around the web, mostly from public sources and/or private sources used with permission. I have tried to include only images under public domain, creative commons, or fair use. If I have inadvertently violated any copyrights, please inform me and I will remove your image/s (if it is indeed an infringement).

PERSONAL NEWS: Mazel Tov Dave & Kimbo!

. Hi Everyone,

I wanted to make two quick notes...

It was my friend Kimbo's birthday this past weekend and I wanted to wish him a belated and very loud...

Happy Birthday!

The above photo is of Kimbo (Guy in the center background glancing ominously at the patriotic cake) celebrating his birthday with some lesser guy, a "virtual unknown" (The funny-looking guy to the right) to the greater gaming community... probably a custodian or something like that... red "power" ties are so blah these days (As an aside, I have no idea who the "face" on the left is... could he be Kimbo's handservant?)...

And as a weird coincidence, U.S. Vice-President Dick Cheney bears a remarkable resemblance to Kimbo although I doubt he has anything like Kimbo's world famous gaming acumen.

This next photo is of Kimbo (On the right) and I (On the left in deep, deep thought!) playing games at ConQuest Sac 2006... Kimbo gave me a real beating while playing games at this convention... I wasn't kidding about Kimbo and his renowned gaming abilities! Kimbo looks much different when out of his customary suit and tie. He usually only wears flannel when hunting and playing certain other games...

And my friend Dave...

Mazel Tov on getting married!

They're both great guys and well known throughout the local gaming community for being fun folks to game with. Dave is well known for being a fanatical ASL (Advanced Squad Leader) player and Kimbo... for playing everything and anything!

Have a great day!

Shalom,
Maksim-Smelchak.

P.S.
Personally, I think Kimbo looks more like Ariel Sharon despite the Cheney similarity, but that's just me. I've always wondered if Arik was subtly giving the photographer the bird in this shot...

Notes regarding photos / pictures: These are not all my images. I am using various images from around the web, mostly from public sources and/or private sources used with permission. I have tried to include only images under public domain, creative commons, or fair use. If I have inadvertently violated any copyrights, please inform me and I will remove your image/s (if it is indeed an infringement).

MINI WARGAMING: New E-A Photobucket Galleries...

Hi Guys,

I thought I'd share some links for some miniatures photo galleries from two Epic-Armageddon miniatures enthusiasts...

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Consectari:
http://s99.photobucket.com/albums/l297/the_consectari/

C. has been working on some terrain boards among his other projects.



I really like his use of manufactured packaging as 6mm sci-fi structures:

Please check out his link for more photos of his amazing miniatures projects.

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And the later Necron efforts of PipBoy:
http://scc13hq.blogspot.com/

PipBoy does amazing work. The below photo is of some Necron Warriors he converted using DRM's Andrayada figures:

And here's some photos of his Necron Destroyers using plastic 28mm Necron Scarab bitz converted with DRM Andrayada torsos:

He has much more on his blog if you're interested in taking a gander...

And DRM Miniatures can be found and purchased here:
http://www.darkrealmminiatures.com/index.htm

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On a side note, I was able to get together with Dick M. yesterday and we played a few games:

- War Galley from GMT Games...

Link here:
http://www.boardgamegeek.com/game/1894

War Galley was a bit complicated. Dick and I hadn't quite mastered the game mechanics when we decided to close out the game and head out for lunch... it was really nice though to see all of those beautiful ancients ships heading for a rumble on the seas...

- Comand & Colours: Ancients also from GMT Games...

Link here:
http://www.boardgamegeek.com/game/14105

We played a Hannibal vs. Scipio scenario and Dick severely trounced me two games in a row...

Mazel Tov, Dick!

I picture Kimbo and Mike O'Brien smiling somewhere!

We also played a game of Settlers of Canaan from Cactus Games, an old favorite of mine...

Link here:
http://www.boardgamegeek.com/game/3655

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Have a great Sunday!

Shalom,
Maksim-Smelchak.

Notes regarding photos / pictures / videos: These are not all my images and videos. I am using various images and videos from around the web, mostly from public sources and/or private sources used with permission. I have tried to include only images and videos under public domain, creative commons, or fair use. If I have inadvertently violated any copyrights, please inform me and I will remove your image/s (if it is indeed an infringement).

FILMS: "NEUTER MAN" Comes To a Theatre Near You!

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Hi Everyone,

Well, I went out Sunday afternoon (9 July 2006) with my friends Mike and Donna to see the new film Superman Returns and I was...

COLOSSALLY DISAPPOINTED!

I'd read some newspaper, magazine and blog articles before going witht he conclusion that the Superman was politically correct, but I was skeptical that it was true and sometimes negatively publicity is overhyped to the Nth degree, BUT...

In this case, the negative hype was... all too true.

For those of you who might not be familiar with the superhero genre, superheroes are mythical hero figures that became popularized in comic books and newspapers in the beginning of the twentieth century. The genre has come a long way from its origins and become very much an entertainment staple as well as a mainstream interest.

Superman, one of the first and longest enduring superheroes has come a long way from a hero drawn by two Jewish comic book artists on their mother's breadboards in the 1930s. For more about Superman's Jewish origins and the many Jewish references and allusions in the Superman series, check out these links:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jerry_Siegel

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joe_Shuster

http://briefurl.com/Leaders-Superheroes

And the film didn't just suffer from negative hype and a politically correct makeover, it's worst feature was a really lame storyline, which is where I was inspired to come up with my nickname, "NEUTER MAN" for Superman Returns...

The new Superman doesn't get to "hook up" with Lois Lane.

Yes, that's right. Lois Lane has a new hubby and baby living outside of wedlock because Superman had to go on a "soul searching" trip with Lamas, llamas and undoubtedly yaks. No kidding. Not only that, but Lois is winning a Pulitzer Prize for writing an article called "Why the World Doesn't Need Superman." Go figure.

*** What kind of a twentieth century monologue is that? Remember when the hero got to "hook up" with the damsel in distress and live happily ever after? ***

Superman can't even light a match for Lois Lane in Superman Returns. I miss the days when Superman could spend "quality time" with beautiful women like the one in the following photo... or, at least, fight crime together.

Now, the acting wasn't too bad. Superman was appropriately hunky (see photo):

And Lois, played by Kate Boswell was pretty (although Kate should stay a blond)...

Without giving away too much off the story, I'd like to comment that it's really sad when Kevin Spacey, who played Lex Luthor, is upstaged by two Pomeranians (poofy dogs). Enough said.

And not only does Superman "not get the girl," but he doesn't even get to fight crime anymore either. He's only allowed to rescue folks from disasters... the ACLU might sue him if he denied criminals their "rights." The only antagonist allowed in the film is Lex Luthor (and goons), who as I previously mentioned was upstaged by Pomeranians. The film mentions that the reason that Lex Luthor gets out of jail is because Superman fails to make a court appearance as the "star" witness during Lex's time in court... how lame is that?

At one point in the film, Superman... almost fights crime, when the usual museum heist occurs. High-tech criminals set up a Gatling gun on a roof and predictably blow up cop cars Terminator style until Superman shows up to deflect bullets off his "Man of Steel" chest and stuns the criminals into dumbfounded submission with his good looks alone (no punches necessary). And while two donut-ridden security guards are rescued when Superman stops the evil Gatling gun (...mustn't depict actual criminals, people, as villains... excepting Lex of course), we never see the criminals committing a crime other than a possible breaking or entering and illegal weapons possession charges. I predict that Superman violated their civil rights and that they'll get off scot-free when Superman fails to appear in court... again. And, AGAIN... very sad universe.

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As a side note, if my review of Superman Returns is too disjointed for you, try this one from Isaac Schrödinger:

http://briefurl.com/Superman_Returns

Or maybe these ones from Debbie Shlussel:

http://briefurl.com/Not-Nice_Lois

http://briefurl.com/PC-Man

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Perhaps, the worst of Superman's politically correct whitewash in the new film was the deletion of Superman's raison d'etre, that is to say the reason for his heroism... the old phrase: “truth, justice, and the American way”...

Which was changed to: “...truth, justice, and all that stuff.”

More about that here:

http://briefurl.com/Lame_Hollywood

It's sad that some Hollywood film directors are so spineless that they would delete the phrase"the American way" from a famous American icon to try and curry a larger film audience from abroad.

And, unfortunately, the director of Superman Returns isn't the first and probably wont be the last to try and deflate classic American icons. That process has been going on for some time. Anyone remember Ted Turner's Captain Planet?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Captain_Planet

More about the rewriting of superhero history here:

http://briefurl.com/Hate_USA_Superheroes

And another article here:

http://briefurl.com/Gaywad-Superheroes

And here:

http://fourcolormedmon.blogspot.com/

And here:

http://michellemalkin.com/archives/005474.htm

On the other hand, sometimes superheroes end up in photo ops with unexpected folks:

http://briefurl.com/For_The_Troops

I wanted to find a picture of Dick Cheney with a superhero for my friend Kimbo (...who bears a remarkable resemblance to Dick Cheney), but we'll have to settle for Rumsfeld.

*** See! Is this a photo of Dick Cheney incognito or Kimbo? ***

Ultimately, my advice to you, as people I like, is:

If you want to see a good superhero flick, go out and rent Sky High or The Incredibles.

This whole episode makes me feel like I did when I discovered the Tooth Fairy wasn't real... bummer.

And if you happen to know about any other myths that aren't real, don't tell me at this time, I've had enough disillusionment for the week! Let me live in bliss...

Shalom,
Maksim-Smelchak.

P.S.
I avoided mentioning the hagiography of Superman in the film. It was very sad... something inbetween Mel Gibson's The Passion of Christ and any kooky film ever written about the Spear of Destiny. Oy, oy vay!

P.S.S.
I give the film credit for being dedicated to the late Christopher and Dana Reeve, two real folks who stayed true to their values in a politically correct Hollywood world.

P.S.3.
In an unrelated mention, if you get a chance, check out the classic Larry Niven short story "Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex"... very amusing.

http://www.rawbw.com/~svw/superman.html

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Larry_niven

http://briefurl.com/Kleenex-Woman

GAMING NEWS: Photos uploaded from 25 June 2006 2M2G Meet!

Hi Everyone,

Well, I haven't had the time to write up a full SitRep from the meeting, but it was great... 11 gamers enjoyed the day with three major games running:

- Spanish Civil War miniatures game
- Avalon Hills double blind 1914 board game
- Descent fantasy board game


I uploaded the photos to my Photobucket here if you'd like to take a gander:

http://s44.photobucket.com/albums/f23/Maksim-Smelchak/Gaming%202006/2M2G%206-25-2006/

I'd say the meet was fantastic with a note that we were missing many local community supergamers like Dick Mitchell and Kimbo... well, you can't have everything... maybe next time?
Have a great day!

Shalom,
Maksim-Smelchak.

GAMING NEWS: End of TLC As We Know It (24 May 2006)!

Hi Everyone,

POST TO BE EDITED LATER - IN PROGRESS!

Well, last Wednesday was a big day in Sacramento... the momentous end of the TLC Gang... they've left for the friendly environs of Texas to watch over their steers and... other items of vast interest. Todd and Crystal are fine people and we'll all dearly miss them.

Other than the loss of the TLC unit, the game that stood out in my mind was Breaking Away, a bicycle race game with some interesting game mechanics. So, bicycle racing is this week's theme!

Bicyclists, Sponsors & Other Speedo Groupies:
- Mrs. Crystal Love, "Racy & Naughty" Biker from Brownsville.
- Msr. Dave, Speedo Cultist located in Laredo.
- Mr. Dick, Lady's Bicycle Seat Testing Expert From Houston.
- Mr. Kimbo, Bicycle and Duck Hunting Shotgun Specialist from San Antonio.
- Pfsr. Maksim, Weirdo Racer with a Rear View Mirror on his Helmet from Witchita Falls.
- Sir Todd, Personal Reflector Specialist from Dallas.

And we played a number of games:

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1. Carolus Magnus

http://www.boardgamegeek.com/game/481

Regents:
- Crystal: Winner!
- Dave: L.

Dave ad Crystal played a relatively quick game of Dave's latest baby: Carolus Magnus. Dave is over the initial rules novitiate status and crystal soundly beat him. Carolus Magnus may be one of the next big popularity climbers... interesting game mechanics and the game runs very soundly.

Mazel Tov, Crystal!

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2. Who's The Ass?

http://www.boardgamegeek.com/game/11104

Potential A-holes:
- Crystal: 22 + 2 + 0 +36 = 60 WINNER!
- Dave: 32 + 6 + 42 + 20 = 100 Resident A-hole!
- Dick: 37 + 10 + 20 + 0 = 67 loser. D-hole.
- Kimbo: 46 + 0 + 6 + 18 = 70 loser. C-hole.
- Maks: 0 + 32 + 22 + 23 = 77 loser. B-hole.

We've all gotten pretty good at this game by this point so every hand is a solid fight, but Crystal often distracts us with her uncommonly good loooks and she managed to pull off the win. The game was very close pointwise with my chance at victory taken away by a last-turn dump of the ass on me durring the second round. Bummer.

Mazel Tov, Crystal!

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3. Killer bunnies and the Quest for the Magic Carrot

http://www.boardgamegeek.com/game/3699

Wabbits:
- Crystal: l.
- Dave: Winner!
- Dick: l.
- Kimbo: l.
- Maks: Loser.
- Todd: l.

Bunnies is the TLC Unit's favorite game so we, of course, couldn't send them off without a game of it... Thankfully, Dave only had the basic game, which really changed play. All of the expansions really make for some horrible one-sided games as one player inevitably collects combos that make them near invincible.

And throughout the evening I was asking for folks to send me some positive vibes since I had a big job interview the next day (last Thursday) to which Kimbo replied "You'll just have lose the whole evening and not throw any games..." ...and I did. Kimbo did his part by hosing down me every chance he got... It was well into the game before I managed to acquire a bunny that lasted longer than a single turn. And it didn't help when someone launched an asteroid that wiped us all out early in the game either!

Mazel Tov, Dave!

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4. Coloretto

http://www.boardgamegeek.com/game/5782

Color Crayon Utilization Experts:
- Crystal: 18 l.
- Dave: 25 Tie Winner!
- Kimbo: 22 l.
- Maks: 14 LOSER!
- Todd: 25 Tie Winner!

This is one of the first times I've seen a tie occur while playing Coloretto... I don't know how ties are normally resolved in Coloretto, but we decided to declare both folks winners and moved on.

Mazel Tov, Dave and Todd!

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5. King Arthur

http://www.boardgamegeek.com/game/15167

Knights Errant:
- Crystal: 25 l.
- Dave: 39 WINNER!
- Kimbo: 20 Loser.
- Maks: 30 l.
- Todd: 30 l.

I'm starting to like this game... very simple, but there is some strategy to it and you can certainly get edged out of the game if you're not careful. Dave utterly stomped us and Kimbo didn't pull his infamous "game's over" declaration... which might have even helped him.

Mazel Tov, Dave!

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6. Breaking Away!

http://www.boardgamegeek.com/game/2981

Speedo Freaks:
- Dave: Did not finish... knickers were in a bunch.
- Dick: #2 l.
- Kimbo: #1 Winner!
- Maks: #3 L.

This is a strange little game and if you mismanage your energy, you'll end up behind the pack and out of the game as happened to two of my four little bikers... which pretty well insured me the big loss... of course, I needed the positive karma as Kimbo mentioned so maybe it was a reverse blessing. At any rate, there is a definite learning curve to the game, which I fell well behind. Dave opted out early to share a game with Crystal as she beat her busband to the game... she left him home cleaning the carpets... it's not too hard to figure out their relationship's hierarchy.

Kimbo mentioned that the game has garnered very good ratings on BGG and I can see why... it's an excellent little game... the mechanic of garnering energy by being further back in a pack mechanic makes for excellent play. Getting a break away racer is difficult to maintain although it can be done. Kimbo did it. And Dick had a natural advantage over me in this game... he has a thing for spandex...

Mazel Tov, Kimbo!

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Have a great week!

Shalom,
Maksim-Smelchak.

GAMING NEWS: Revving Engines at Formula A-1 (10 May 2006)!

Hi Everyone,

First of all, I want to apologize for the delay in getting this update posted... my life has simply been hectic beyond imagining!

My baby sister (photo at right) graduated from community college last Friday and my entire family is very proud of her. She got a slower start with schooling than I did so seeing her earn two associate's degrees brought me a lot of pride and pleasure. For those of you who don't know, my petite baby sister is a fire fighter and watching her graduate from the fire fighter's academy a few year's ago was a kick... you see, my sister barely tops about 5'4" and for her to keep up with the sort of macho paramilitary guys that generally become firefighters was nothing short of miraculous. And to top that off, I caught some sort of flu at the end of last week and struggled through the end of last week.

And when it rains, it pours. My current job has had numerous calls for overtime so I've been working a large number of hours. And I'm also hearing back from a number of companies that I've applied to for jobs. I'll be interviewing for a management position with a local company later this week as of today (16 May 2006). So... I've had my hands full!

Last week, the gang gathered at A-1 Comics and we played games. The evening was relatively quiet but very satisfying. It's hard to ask for more than good company and a few good games!

If I had to pick a theme for the evening, I would go with the "race car" theme as Dave brought his copy of Formula De, which several of us enjoyed. And there was much more too... read on, maestro!

Racers, Head Mechanics and Sponsors Present:
- Crystal "Love," NASCAR Promotional Model & Shortcake Queen.
- Dick Michelsohn, Sponsor of the Beaten-Dick Racing Team, Ltd.
- Msr. Dave Story, Racer Extrordinaire & Rogue Cult Leader.
- Donna O'Flaherty, NASCAR Promotional Model & Head Mechanic of Team Bang!.
- Keith Mantooth, Outlaw Gunfighter & Head Mechanic of the Beaten-Dick Racing Team, Ltd.
- "Black Kimbo," Racer and Malevolent Taxman.
- Kurt, Ibn Ali, Sheik and Sponsor of Team Tupperware!
- Maksim (me!) Smelchak, Unknown Racer and Amateur Photographer of little skill.
- Mike O'Brien, Sponsor of Team Bang!
- Todd Blanco, Hot Latin Lover and Driver of the "BLUE" (not WHITE!) car of the TLC Team.
- Tony De Cinema De Noir, Racer and Film Professor from Italy.

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1. Familienbande

http://www.boardgamegeek.com/game/11081

Players:
- Dave: Winner!
- Dick: L.
- Kurt: L.

In this strange game, Dave, Dick and Kurt manipulated family trees to see who could come up with the ugliest children. When it comes to funky breeding, Dave had a natural advantage over the others and won this game... handily. Mazel Tov, Dave!

To the right, we have a photo of Dick... in a pink shirt, showing the rest of us how to not only look tough, but be tough! I have many a lesson to learn from men like Dick and Kurt... especially on how to be cool and tough. In a slip of the tongue that I'll probably never live down, I exclaimed that I couldn't "beat Dick." Sometimes, I just think that I'm hopeless... I mean Dick can even look "Miami Vice" cool in a pink shirt and all I can do is stick my foot in my mouth.

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2. Diabolo

http://www.boardgamegeek.com/game/21613

Players:
- Dave: L.
- Dick: Winner!
- Kurt: L.
- Maks: L.

Dick once again proved his superiority over us mere mortals! Go, Dick! Mazel Tov, Dick!

Kurt deserves an honorable mention for exceptional play. He also deserves a medal for repeatedly turning me down from taking his photo. Either Kurt is very vain regarding his personal appearance or he knows me for the lousy amateur photographer that I am.

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3. King's Blood

http://www.boardgamegeek.com/game/20675

Players:
- Dick: 25 pts. Winner!
- Keith (took over from Maks): 101 pts. L.
- Kimbo: 64 pts. L.
- Kurt: 71 pts. L.
- Mike (took over from Crystal): 57 pts. L.
- Todd: 74 pts. L.

In this strange anime themed game of quasi-European royalty, we saw the gang mix up aristocratic family trees in a way that made the English royal family look exceedingly normal. Dick, once again, demonstrated his prowess as a breeder and cleaned house... so to speak. Mazel Tov to you, Dick!

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4. Shopping, The Galleria!

http://retailtrafficmag.com/news/retail_14/index.html

Players:
- Crystal: Winner!
- Donna: Winner!
- Mike: L.
- Todd: L.

Crystal has been feeling some intense guilt over excessively teasing me about having a favorable win rate playing games with her so she is presenting me a piece of strawberry shortcake in this photograph (Thanks, Crystal!) to show her compassion for me. After her brief emotional display, she and Donna teamed up to play Shopping, the Galleria! and left us.

Todd and Mike lost out on that game.

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5. Yinsh!

http://www.boardgamegeek.com/game/7854

Players:
- Dave: Winner!
- Maks: L.

Dave and I played a quick game of Yinsh! while the rest of the gang finished playing King's Blood. Dave kicked my butt! Mazel Tov, Dave!

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6. Flaschenteufel (The Bottle Imp)

http://www.boardgamegeek.com/game/619

Players:
- Dave: Winner!
- Kimbo: L.
- Todd: L.

And Dave chewed a little more gum and kicked a little more ***. Mazel Tov AGAIN, Dave!

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7. Bang!

http://www.boardgamegeek.com/game/3955

Players:
- Dick: Deputy: Shot Down Like A Dog!
- Keith: Outlaw: Winner!
- Maks: Outlaw - Winner! (But a dead winner!)
- Mike: Sheriff: SDLAD!
- Tony: Renegade: SDLAD!

Displaying my lame skills as a wannabe Western anti-hero, I was slain very quickly in a game of Bang!. Keith turned the game around and slew the sheriff, which technically also made me a winner, but I was dead! Bummer. Mazel Tov, Keith!

We played with Mike's new expansion, which really changed game play.

Thanks for bringing the game and being such a good sport, Mike!

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8. Formula De

http://www.boardgamegeek.com/game/173

Racers:
- Dave: 3rd! in the green car!
- Kimbo: 5th! in the lemon car!
- Maks: 1rst! Winner! in the red car!
- Todd: 2nd! in the blue car!
- Tony: 4th! in the white car!

At right, you can see a photo of Monsieur Dave L'Idiotique, a famed racer from France, known for his extravagant mode of dress and polished pate.

And at left you can see "Black Kimbo," a racer from the Dakotas who is also known as the "Malevolent Tax Man!" Despite the happy expression on his face (was it gas?), poor Kimbo is busy moving and reestablishing himself as an "empty nest" gamer as all of his "little birds" are now out of the house. I send my condolences to him.

Poor Kimbo also displayed his amazing penchant... for bad luck. His rolled the absolute lowest number possible (that's bad) on the Formula De dice a number of times in a row. Happens to the best of us, Kimbo! I feel your pain.

And at right, you can see a photo of "Flash'in Blue Todd, the Holy Avenger." Noone knows exactly where he is from, but the rumor is that he changed his name to "blue" after years of being known as the "whitest" man on the block.

And here to the left, we see "Mad Friar Tony," famed racer from Italy. When Tony isn't hitting the bottle, he can push some mean accelerator pedal! Unfortunately, while Tony was actually in teetotaler mode, he missed a number of turns in his souped up Yugo racer. Can you see the pain on his face (maybe it was constipation... or consumption...)?

And to the right, is a fill-in photo for Maksim Smelchak as we seem to have lost our stock photo for him. For a relatively unknown race, he (really I) drove magnificently, securing a first place win. Mazel Tov to me, for the heck of it!



======
9. Hot Car!

Players:
- Unknown

Noone knows where this hot car came from, but the rumors around A-1 Comics indicate that it belongs to a local sheik and his camel companion "Sheila." The sheik made most of his ill-gotten riches in corrupt Tupperware pyramid schemes and can occasional be spotted around A-1 buying smutty comic books when he isn't home watching cheap soap opera... at least, that's what I heard...

======

Have a great week!

Shalom,
Maksim-Smelchak.

GAMING NEWS: A Highly Anticipated Murder at A-1 Comics (3 May 2006)!

Hi Everyone,

Well, gaming day at A-1 Comics has come and gone and the game that themed the night was:

"Who Killed Dr. Lucky?" from "Cheapass Games"

You either loved it, hated it, or just wanted to see the game die!

And "Who Killed Dr. Lucky?," which is actually called "Save Dr. Lucky!" is a parody of the classic "Clue" game. We all took our roles and the murder mystery party ensued.

The following people showed up:
- Crystal
- Dick
- Dave Story
- Donna
- Kimbo
- Kurt
- Maksim (me!)
- Mike O'Brien
- Todd
- Tony

And we played the following games:

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1. Through the Desert

http://www.boardgamegeek.com/game/503

Players:
- Dick: L.
- Dave: L.
- Kimbo: L.
- Kurt: WINNER!
- Maks: L.

Kurt ended up having a lot of talent with camels. He just seemed to have an instinctive feeling with them. It was like the rest of us weren't even competitors or even in the room with him... just Kurt and his beloved camels. I believe that the lovely spitting paramour of Ibn Ali Kurt was named "Sheila." Mazel Tov with your win, Kurt!

======
2. Treehouse

http://www.boardgamegeek.com/game/21955

Players:
- Dave: L.
- Kimbo: WINNER!
- Kurt: L.

In this strange little game using the Zendo "crystal" pyramids, Kimbo massaged the dice just right and beat off Dave and Kurt... ...to victory. Mazel Tov, Kimbo!

To the right is a photo of Dave looking a little less enthused than the print design on his shirt. He talked about the highlight of his work day being when his dog broke wind loudly. Oh, the joys of being a computer geek working out of your own home!

======
3. Category 5

http://www.boardgamegeek.com/game/432

Players:
- Dave: L.
- Kimbo: L.
- Kurt: L.
- Todd: WINNER!

Todd claims that he has a method for winning this game and whatever it was, it worked this time. Mazel Tov, Todd!

======
4. Yinsh!

http://www.boardgamegeek.com/game/7854

Players:
- Dick: 2 - L.
- Todd: 3 - WINNER!

In the classic strategy game of Yinsh, Dick's largest accomplishment was making a "brass knuckle" out of the Yinsh rings. Todd, in yet another win of the day, beat out Dick. Mazel Tov, AGAIN Todd!

The exciting photo to the right depicts a Yinsh game in progress. Can't you feel the intense emotion and action pursuant to this game?

======
5. Category 5

http://www.boardgamegeek.com/game/432

Players:
- Dick: L.
- Dave: L.
- Kimbo: L.
- Kurt: L.
- Maks: L.
- Todd: WINNER!

Todd's "method" appeared to work again! Mazel Tov AGAIN, Todd!

Kurt had to leave around this time... he babbled something about having to catch a soap opera on some obscure cable channel. He's weird that way.

======
6. Bang!

http://www.boardgamegeek.com/game/3955

Players:
- Crystal: Sheriff: WINNER!
- Dick: Outlaw: Shot Down Like A Dog!
- Dave: Outlaw: SDLAD!
- Kimbo: Outlaw: SDLAD!
- Maks: Deputy: WINNER!
- Todd: Renegade: SDLAD!

It was a tough root'in toot'in gun match and hot lead flew like there was no tomorrow... and then there were three! (Cue Wild Western "high plains" theme.)

Maksim and Crystal lined up on one end of the town and "Wildman" Kimbo on the other, spitt'in an' tear'in an' holler'in like there'd be no tomorrow.

Hot lead flew again. Maks was hit... he staggered... bleeding. Kimbo laughed behind his barrel. Crystal was hit and hit bad... the holes in her smart "Law-woman TM" vest were leaking red...

And then the sun hit "High Noon" and it all turned around...

Kimbo was hit once and then twice (Cue in image of Kimbo silently screaming) and then he was slain like the scurrilous dog he was.

The good guys won this time and rode off into the sunset happily ever after.

P.S.
Please ignore any time / logic problems with the sudden jump from high noon to the setting sun!

======
7. Who Killed Dr. Lucky?

http://www.boardgamegeek.com/game/1157

Players:

Dick as: Colonel Mustard, Retired military man and Great White Hunter.

Ever notice how the "I-talian" guys always go straight for the babe?

Crystal as: Yvette, the French Maid, also known as "Crystal Love" in the slums.

And don't let that perky smile fool you, she's a manipulative and bloodthirsty lass.

Maks as: Professor Krasnoxolostoksky.

This is a truly terrible picture of me. I must remember to always have pictures of me taken with my head level or looking up so my neck doesn't make me look fat. I was properly cast as the hopeless academic, who's always forgetting things. And I forgot to win.

Todd as: Mr. White, Cleaning Staff. A pretty vanilla fellow.

Todd wasn't photographed this time around due to his vast importance in the greater picture of things. Bummer.

Tony as: Fryar Antonio De Cinema De Noir.

The Fryar tried to "whack" ol' Dr. Lucky several times, but he would have been better off using the bottle as a weapon than a source of libation.

Dave as: Monsieur David L'Idiotique, Cultist Leader and Circuit Lecturer.

Monsier Dave, as we called him, thought that the "ontology" of the evening was "in disarray" and became a "silent protester" to the inhumanity of the evening. Oddly enough, this made him one of the more interesting, and yet less exciting, guests.

Kimbo as: The Malevolent Taxman.

I think his name was either "Butch" or "Peewee," but I wasn't brave enough to ask and the fiendish look on his face frightened all others away. His loud braggardly ranting (something about card-based games) let everyone know that he didn't feel that he had to play by the rules. It almost seemed as if he wanted everyone to lose. I have a feeling that if the game would have gone on any longer, he might have done something drastic...

Mike O'Brien as: Dr. Lucky, the man we all love to hate although some of us just hate him... not I, I say!

Donna as: Ms. Ho, the Oriental cook that worked a little "too hard" for Dr. Lucky!

------

It was a rousing night at Wayne Manor as the motley crew of the "Official Dr. Lucky Fan Club" assembled. Everyone was sipping cocktails or nibbling on hors d'ovaries, but you could feel something sinister simmering under the polite small talk. Either someone forgot to wear deodorant or there was hate in the air! (Cue suspenseful piano music.)

The party assembled in the foyer and the Doctor's bequest was read. Dr. Lucky O'Brien had had enough... his candle of life was nearly burnt down... and his dramatic request was that one of us end the misery of his life that very night! He offered his full fortune (in unmarked ones...) to any who could accomplish the grisly task.

Some of us conjectured that after eating Ms. Ho's cooking for so many years (Ho-hos), any of us would have wanted the same.

And the deed was afoot!

Dick quickly scurried off to the side room and caught the not-so-good doctor alone, but he was foiled in his attempt when the sight of his thumb distracted him.

Fryar Tony was next. Like every good man of the clergy, he whipped out his Black & Decker chainsaw and prepared to go to town when... he mistook a stairwell pillar for the not-so-good doctor. Another flubbed murder attempt.

And there were many more failed murdered attempts. "Peewee" Kimbo and Monsieur Dave were fraught with frustration! What kind of party was this? When would the evening end? Was Sartre right? And no card-based games! Aaaaagggghhhhh!

Finally, bloodthirsty "Crystal Love" found herself "alone" in the garden with the foolish doctor and ended his unlikeable ways.

Le Fin!

Rest In Peace, Doctor Lucky O'Brien!

======

Have a great Friday!

Shalom,
Maksim-Smelchak.

Notes regarding photos / pictures: These are not all my images. I am using various images from around the web, mostly from public sources and/or private sources used with permission. I have tried to include only images under public domain, creative commons, or fair use. If I have inadvertently violated any copyrights, please inform me and I will remove your image/s (if it is indeed an infringement).