HISTORY: Happy Halloween, Ozzie Light Horse! (31 October 2007)

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TOP: An Australian Slouch Hat as worn...

...by the Australian Light Horse at Beersheba in 1917.

Hi All,

Today is a special day to me... for alot of reasons. For one, it's my birthday and this post signifies that I've survived another year on this Earth of ours. A second is that this day is the holiday of Halloween, a benign holiday with it's roots in Druidic tradition, but used today as a day of good cheer and the sharing of sweets around much of the world. On Halloween, we celebrate the macabre: ghosts, spooks, skeletons, vampires, and the whole lot of elements that make for a good scary story... LOL ;o) And I'm ALL about that!

But, a third more profound reason is that today is the day that far back in 1917, the Australian Light Horse overcame the Turkish guns at Beersheba in an act that opened up the Holy Land from Oriental despotism to the many joys and Freedoms of the West that so often get taken for granted except by those forced to go without: little things like the freedom to travel, gather, protest, speak (media), build a home, have as many children as one wants, etc.. Without those brave Ozzies, perhaps the Ottoman Empire and its brutal oppression of people throughout the Middle East might still persist today. And maybe the reach of the Ottoman Empire that always thirsted for Europe and beyond would have expanded? Instead those brave Australian Horsemen sealed the fate of the "sick old man of Europe."

Much of the Middle East still suffers under the cruel yoke of tyranny, but there is hope and the example of Israel stands LARGE to those around the Middle East who suffer. They can watch as little Israel succeeds against all odds, stays decent under cruel, inhuman pressures, and how her people cherish & enjoy the many freedoms of that little decidedly imperfect & democratic bastion of light.

But enough of my hyperbole, if you've ever met an Ozzie, you know that one of their most annoying and outstanding traits is a little something called Larrikinism. That's a fancy word for the very healthy lack of respect that Ozzies have for authority. The word also captures the very consistent sense of self-deprecating humor that so many Ozzies exhibit. It's one of the things I love best about the Ozzie comedy-band Tripod, whose videos I seem to feature more and more often here at my blog. That is a quite distinct sense of humor that Australians and Jews seem to share. And Australian Jews... seem to have it in droves. Here's a snippet of what Wiki has to say about it:

Larrikinism is the name given to the Australian folk tradition of irreverence, mockery of authority and disregard for rigid norms of propriety. Larrikinism can also be associated with self-deprecating humour.

And here's a link to the full Wiki entry on Larrikinism:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Larrikinism

I only wish I had a better facility with words to properly frame the truly magnificent accomplishment of the Australian Light Horse at Beersheba in 1917, but while I don't, my friend Treppenwitz does. Here is a passage from a book called '800 Horsemen' by Col. Stringer which Treppenwitz quoted in a great post about the subject:

"The key to the battle were the Gaza-Beersheba fortifications. Beersheba, meaning "well of the oath", so named by Abraham in the book of Genesis... Any army approaching its life-giving wells has to march for days through the waterless desert. All the Turks had to do was hold off an attack for one day and the merciless desert sun would do the rest. Despite constant assaults by the combined forces of the British and Australian armies, the place could not be taken. Then came the fateful day of October 31 1917. The generals were desperate, 50,000 British infantry with tank support had been driven back into the desert. With the sun about to set and with no water for many miles, disaster stared them squarely in the face. The Australian Light Horse Commander [General] Chauvel's orders were to storm Beersheba, it had to be won before nightfall at all costs. The situation was becoming grave as they were in urgent need of 400,000 gallons of water for men and horses.

Chauvel concocted a crazy plan. Why not let his 800 horsemen charge the Turkish artillery? A cavalry charge across 6000 yards of open terrain straight into the face of the massed Turkish guns. It sounded like a recipe for disaster. No wonder the German Officer commanding the Turkish defences described the Aussie Light Horsemen as "madmen!" For a start the Light Horse were not cavalry, they were mounted infantry. They had no swords or lancers but were equipped with rifles and bayonets designed for infantry warfare. But left with virtually no
alternative the desperate General gave the order for the last great cavalry charge in history! The 800 young men mounted their magnificent Walers (horses) and lined up to face the Turkish guns, their young faces bronzed and tanned from the desert sun, their emu plumes swaying in the breeze from their famous slouch hats, rifles swung across their backs and bayonets in hand. History was about to be written. These 800 young men were about to open the doorway to the liberation of Jerusalem!

The Light Horsemen charged magnificently across the dusty plains, so fast that the Turkish artillery could not keep pace with them and the "mad" horsemen were able to slip under their guns. As they leapt the trenches laced with machine gun bullets, a magnificent cheer went up from the British ranks, even some of the Turks stood and applauded, such was the magnificence of the feat. Although hopelessly outnumbered and outgunned they charged on. Beersheba - the gateway to Jerusalem, fell that day, not to the Crusaders, not to the British, German or US Armies - but to the Australian Light Horsemen!

Let me quote from the book "True Australian War Tales" by Alec Hepburn. "...the British swept towards Gaza. They stormed the city on 26 March but were thrown back by determined enemy resistance. A second attempt on 17 April also ended in failure. The Turks, with German and Austrians of the crack Asia Corps, stood firm along a fortified line from Gaza on the coast, to Beersheba, near the Judean Hills. The key to victory was Beersheba. Many nations claim to have mounted the last cavalry charge in history, but most of these actions were minor skirmishes of no real significance towards the outcome of the war in which they fought. The Australian Light Horse attack on Beersheba was the last important cavalry charge in history and the last to win a resounding victory that altered the course of a war." (And the course of a nation - Israel)."

The late afternoon sunlight flashing from their bayonets, Australian troopers of the 4th Light Horse Brigade made a proud sight as they spread in a khaki flood over the stony Palestine plain. The thundering hoof beats of their mounts rolled over the arid land ahead like some macabre overture . ...Wearing their distinctive feather-plumed slouch hats at a variety of jaunty angles the troopers seemed nonchalant in the face of death.... Topping the last rise Beersheba suddenly came into sight, the graceful minaret on its Mosque pointing the way to glory, in what was to be the last important cavalry charge in history. Almost as one the big, brown warhorses surged forward in a mad gallop, their hoofs striking thunder from the hard sun-baked earth."

"Then from somewhere within the barbed-wire-encircled town, heavy artillery began firing. The first shells roared overhead, exploding in fiery geysers amid the charging ranks. Yelling men and bellowing horses went down in tangled heaps, their screams filling the choking smoke clouds that swirled everywhere, But not even shrapnel could halt their fierce onslaught. Leaping their mounts over fallen comrades, the horsemen swept towards the Turkish line. Soon the shells were falling harmlessly behind the advancing ranks. With the first gauntlet behind them the Australian horsemen raced into the next. From the flanks Turkish machine-guns took over the defence. Many more men and horses went down, but still they came on. The tough Turkish infantry had been unnerved by the seemingly invincible horde bearing down on them. Wild with fear, for they knew their foe by reputation, the Turks put up a formidable rifle barrage in a frantic effort to stop the mounted madmen. Troopers pitched from the saddle; others had their mounts shot from under them: and yet the suicidal charge swept on. As the Light Horse galloped nearer the excited Turks forgot to lower their sights and found themselves firing high. With bullets now buzzing harmlessly overhead the leading squadrons thundered in line across the last kilometre then jumped their mighty Walers over the trenches."

The rest is history. "Beersheba - well of the oath, was in Australian hands by the time the last rays of fading daylight had gone from the desert sky. This deed would live on as the proudest achievement in the colourful story of the legendary Light Horse, the force that was probably the most uniquely Australian fighting unit ever raised. The Light Horseman was the best mounted soldier in history, finer even than the Cossack or the American Plains Indian."

In fact the British General Allenby rated the Cavalry charge as one of, if not the most magnificent in history. Eight hundred Aussie Light horsemen had achieved what 50,000 British troops with tanks could not do, what even the Crusaders or Napoleon could not do! They had opened the doorway to Jerusalem against seemingly insurmountable odds.

I am in no way attempting to glorify war, it is terrible. But I believe we need "to give honour where honour is due." Many of the Light Horsemen were visibly moved when they realised they had opened the gateway to the Holy Land, a doorway which had been firmly shut for centuries. One writer put it this way "Without the ANZAC involvement the modern state of Israel would not have come into existence!" On December 11th 1917 the Australian Light Horsemen rode triumphantly into Jerusalem, so far from their homes, their emu feathers proudly fluttering in the breeze, to be greeted with a hysterical welcome by Jews and Christians. A far cry from the scenario when Godfrey of Bouillon and his bloodthirsty Crusaders had entered the city in 1099. Centuries of Moslem rule was over. As the triumphant British General Allenby entered the city through the Jaffa gate, his honour guard was made up of slouch hatted Aussies. Opposite him as he stood on the steps of the Citadel of David he was encircled by another honour guard of proud ANZAC Light Horsemen! Their magnificent effort was being honoured by the world!"

Here's a link here to Treppenwitz's full post:
http://bogieworks.blogs.com/treppenwitz/2007/10/the-return-of-t.html

I can't recommend his blog enough. He is not only a great guy, but his blog makes for a fine read.

Have a great Wednesday!

And Happy Halloween!

Shalom,
Maksim-Smelchak.

Notes regarding photos / pictures / videos: These are not all my images and videos. I am using various images and videos from around the web, mostly from public sources and/or private sources used with permission. I have tried to include only images and videos under public domain, creative commons, or fair use. If I have inadvertently violated any copyrights, please inform me and I will remove your image/s (if it is indeed an infringement).

HASBARA: 31rst Anniversary of The Great Entebbe Rescue!

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The arrival home of the hostages was an intensely joyous moment.

Hi All,

Not only is today the 4th of July for Americans, but it also another incredibly important date in the history of the world. Back on July 4th, 1976, the Israelis struck an incredible victory against Islamofacist terrorism by rescuing a planeload of people taken hostage by evil people. Despite the world edging Israel to give into terrorist demands, Israel staged a daring rescue deep into Africa and successfully rescued not only its own but the citizens of several other nations as well, Jew and Gentile.

The Dry Bones comic strip is intensely insightful about the Middle East.

It was a momentous day because the world at the time had been seriously depressed by waves of the event we now call "skyjacking." Plane after plane had been "skyjacked" within the world and too many gave into the demands of the terrorists, encouraging them to attempt the same stunt time and time again. Operation Entebbe was the turning point, after which the world woke up and increased its security to the point where the word "skyjacking" has been nearly forgotten within the Western world. And thank goodness for that.

However, while Operation Entebbe was an amazing success, it wasn't pulled off flawlessly; three of the hostages were killed and one of the rescuing Israeli soldiers was also slain during the rescue attempt. May they rest in peace.

May Yoni Netanyahu, the slain Israeli rescuer, as well as the slain hostages rest in peace.

If you'd like to learn more about Operation Entebbe, please follow this link:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Operation_Entebbe

There have also been numerous films made and books written about the event.

Have a great Wednesday!

And Happy Fourth of July to my American readers!

Shalom,
Maksim-Smelchak.

Notes regarding photos / pictures / videos: These are not all my images and videos. I am using various images and videos from around the web, mostly from public sources and/or private sources used with permission. I have tried to include only images and videos under public domain, creative commons, or fair use. If I have inadvertently violated any copyrights, please inform me and I will remove your image/s (if it is indeed an infringement).

HASBARA: 40th Anniversary of The 1967 Six Day War!

. The photo that defined the war:

Paratroopers standing in aweful reverence after liberating the Kotel (The Western Wall).

Hi Everyone,

Today is the fortieth anniversary of The 1967 Six Day War that so dramatically changed the balance of power in the Middle East. This conflict not only changed the balance of power in the Middle East, but it profoundly affected military thinking and has ever since been of strong interest to historians, professional military men, and AIW (Arab-Israeli Wars) miniatures wargamers among others.

First of all, let me make a recommendation to read the Magnum Opus (masterpiece) of 1967 Six Day War history:

If you're going to read just one book about the war, please read "Six Days of War" by Michael Oren, which is by far, the most comprehensively researched and definitive historical account yet written on the conflict.

The Six Day War is perhaps most noted for Operation Moked (Focus), in which Israel launched a surprise air attack against Arab Air Forces, which practically crippled the entire militaries of Egypt, Jordan, Syria, and other enemies of Israel. This single operation practically defined air power as the dominant force in warfare from the 1960s on. The Indians paid attention to it in their wars with Pakistan and the Arabs did as well in their later wars with Israel. Even NATO paid attention and began and ambitious program of building hardened aircraft shelters (HAS) in Europe. Operation Moked set the standard and has long been admired by air forces around the world.

The shadow of an Israeli Mirage fighter plane passes over ruined Arab aircraft.

But more than anything else, The Six Day War established Israel as a nation that would not go quietly into the night. Israel gained strategic deterrence in the form of land and no longer stood in the same precarious mortal danger that it had before. It's a fascinating piece of history and I highly recommend study of it to anyone with a passion for such. I've been studying it for over twenty years now, have probably read over a hundred books about it, and can still honestly say that I still have much to learn about it.

An Israeli AMX-13 light tank, which proved ineffective...
...as well as a false path in tank design.
Armor and armament later predominated over mobility in tank design.

Happy Tuesday!

Shalom,
Maksim-Smelchak.

An Israeli Mirage fightercraft with one of its principle enemies, a captured Arab MiG.

P.S.
Today is also the anniversary of the WWII Battle of Midway.

P.S.S.
My friend Treppenwitz found this amazing photo:
http://bogieworks.blogs.com/treppenwitz/2007/06/this_picture_ma.html

Notes regarding photos / pictures: These are not all my images. I am using various images from around the web, mostly from public sources and/or private sources used with permission. I have tried to include only images under public domain, creative commons, or fair use. If I have inadvertently violated any copyrights, please inform me and I will remove your image/s (if it is indeed an infringement).

HASBARA: Six Day War Redux!

.Yossi Ben Hanan, later tank commander, refreshing in the Suez Canal.

Hi Everyone,

- With the fortieth anniversary of the liberation of Jerusalem from Jordan, I'm seeing a plethora of articles about The 1967 Six Day War that may be of interest to AIW (Arab-Israeli Wars) miniatures gamers.

- Charles Krauthammer writes:

"A Prelude to the Six Days"
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/05/17/AR2007051701976.html

- In which he relates the overwhelming significance of the Six Days War to politics in the modern Middle East. He mentions Michael Oren's outstanding 2002 book:

"Six Days of War"
By: Michael Oren

- ...which is by far, the best and most definitive book written yet on the conflict. If you're an Oren fan, check out some of his other recent books as well. He recently concluded a US tour promoting his latest 2007 book:

"Power, Faith, and Fantasy: The United States in the Middle East, 1776 to 2006"

Egyptian Archer tank captured in the Sinai.

And Michael Oren wrote this article in The Jerusalem Post:

"Did Israel Want The Six Day War?"
http://www.jpost.com/servlet/Satellite?cid=1178708597047&pagename=JPost%2FJPArticle%2FShowFull

- You can read more about Michael Oren here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_Oren

Israeli paratroopers after they liberated Jerusalem.

- Meanwhile Abraham Rabinovich writes a recollection of his experiences during The Six Day War in this Jerusalem Post article:

"City Under Siege"
http://www.jpost.com/servlet/Satellite?apage=1&cid=1178708596997&pagename=JPost%2FJPArticle%2FShowFull

- I particularly recommend the following of Rabinovich's books:

"The Battle For Jerusalem, June 5-7, 1967"
"The Boats of Cherbourg"
"The Yom Kippur War: The Epic Encounter That Transformed the Middle East"

- Rabinovich has a very different writing style than Oren and his research is less authoritative, but his books have a less academic and thus more entertaining feel to them. Read Oren for academic history backed by solid fact and relentless research; read Rabinovich to be entertained and to get an "in a nut shell" history of the war.

- You can read more about Abraham Rabinovich here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abraham_Rabinovich

The "Big Three," Narkis, Dayan, & Rabin, entering Bethlehem triumphant.

- And I can never mention modern Israeli history without mentioning Herman Wouk's wonderful novels:

"The Hope"
"The Glory"

- They can be found cheaply as used paperbacks and employ charismatic characters set against the backdrop of Israel's many wars for survival.

- You can read more about Herman Wouk here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Herman_Wouk

Sharon and Begin in 1967, the beginning of a long and successful relationship.

- And lastly, a new book about The Six Day War is coming out this year entitled:

"Foxbats over Dimona: The Soviets' Nuclear Gamble in the Six-Day War"
By: Remez & Isabella Ginor

- The new book tells the history of the Soviet involvement in The Six Day War, with the premise that the Soviets engineered the war in hopes of overthrowing the government of Israel and installing a puppet state in its stead. Very interesting.

Israeli jets in a flyby after the war: Mirage, Mystere, Vautor & Magister.

- I learned about the book in this Jerusalem Post article:

"Soviets engineered Six Day War"
By: David Horovitz
http://www.jpost.com/servlet/Satellite?cid=1178708610161&pagename=JPost%2FJPArticle%2FShowFull

- More about the new book here:
http://yalepress.yale.edu/yupbooks/book.asp?isbn=9780300123173

- And here:
http://www.amazon.com/Foxbats-Over-Dimona-Soviets-Nuclear/dp/0300123175

- So, for folks interested in AIW history, now is a particularly rich time to study with Soviet archives opening up, US historical documents being shared, and a great need to look back on history with critical regard and analysis.

Have a great Friday!

Shalom,
Maksim-Smelchak.

P.S.
Comments are down on this post due to an internal Blogger glitch. Blogger is working on fixing it.

Notes regarding photos / pictures: These are not all my images. I am using various images from around the web, mostly from public sources and/or private sources used with permission. I have tried to include only images under public domain, creative commons, or fair use. If I have inadvertently violated any copyrights, please inform me and I will remove your image/s (if it is indeed an infringement).

WEIRD NEWS: Star Wars EVERYWHERE!

.Whose your Sith daddy now, punk?
Love the SCUD in the background... Classic!

Hi Everyone,

A long time ago in a galaxy far far away...

Like alot of folks out there, I'm a big Star Wars fan and it never ceases to amaze me just how much of a pop icon Star Wars has become and the lengths to which Star Wars fans will take their fan-dom.

I recently read an article about a church / cathedral in the United States which erected a Darth Vader gargoyle on its roof.

Darth will scare away ill spirits...
He might even come back as a blue shimmering ghost...

And Star Wars has even invaded Israeli politics:

This one just makes me chuckle...

And even the US Postal office is getting in on the act:

Who knew that R2 had a cousin in the Postal Service?
Recycled droids?

All I can say is:

May the Force be with you!

Have a great Thursday!

Shalom,
Maksim-Smelchak.

Notes regarding photos / pictures: These are not all my images. I am using various images from around the web, mostly from public sources and/or private sources used with permission. I have tried to include only images under public domain, creative commons, or fair use. If I have inadvertently violated any copyrights, please inform me and I will remove your image/s (if it is indeed an infringement).

HASBARA: Happy Yom Ha'Atzmaut! (24 April 2007)

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Hi Everyone,

Today is the day that a small country survived against all odds to provide a place of hope in a dark corner of the world...

Happy Yom Ha'Atzmaut! (Israeli Independence Day)

Chag Sameach!


Which coincidentally also provides all of this:

Israel, the 100th smallest country, with less than 1/1000th of the world’s population, can lay claim to the following:

1. The cell phone was developed in Israel by Israelis working in the Israeli branch of Motorola, which has its largest development center in Israel.
2. Most of the Windows NT and XP operating systems were developed by Microsoft-Israel.
3. The Pentium MMX Chip technology was designed in Israel at Intel. Both the Pentium-4 microprocessor and the Centrino processor were entirely designed, developed, and produced in Israel.
4. The Pentium microprocessor in your computer was most likely made in Israel.
5. Voice mail technology was developed in Israel.
6. Both Microsoft and Cisco built their only R&D facilities outside the US in Israel.
7. The technology for the AOL Instant Messenger ICQ was developed in 1996 by four young Israelis.
8. According to industry officials, Israel designed the airline industry's most impenetrable flight security. US officials now look to Israel for advice on how to handle airborne security threats.
9. Israel's $100 billion economy is larger than all of its immediate neighbors combined.
10. Israel has the highest percentage in the world of home computers per capita.
11. Israel has the highest ratio of university degrees to the population in the world.
12. Israel produces more scientific papers per capita than any other nation by a large margin - 109 per 10,000 people -- as well as one of the highest per capita rates of patents filed.
13. In proportion to its population, Israel has the largest number of startup companies in the world. In absolute terms, Israel has the second largest number of startup companies after the US (3,500 companies mostly in hi-tech).
14. With more than 3,000 high-tech companies and startups, Israel has the highest concentration hi-tech companies in the world -- apart from the Silicon Valley, US.
15. Israel is ranked #2 in the world for venture capital funds right behind the US.
16. After the United States and Canada, Israel has the largest number of NASDAQ listed companies.
17. Israel has the highest average living standards in the Middle East. The per capita income in 2000 was over $17,500, exceeding that of the UK.
18. On a per capita basis, Israel has the largest number of biotech startups.
19. Twenty-four percent of Israel's workforce holds university degrees -- ranking it third in the industrialized world, after the United States and Holland -- and 12% hold advanced degrees.
20. Israel is the only liberal democracy in the Middle East.
21. In 1984 and 1991, Israel airlifted a total of 22,000 Ethiopian Jews at risk in Ethiopia to safety in Israel.
22. When Golda Meir was elected Prime Minister of Israel in 1969, she became the world's second elected female leader in modern times.
23. When the US Embassy in Nairobi, Kenya, was bombed in 1998, Israeli rescue teams were on the scene within a day -- and saved three victims from the rubble.
24. Israel has the third highest rate of entrepreneurship -- and the highest rate among women and among people over 55 - in the world.
25. Relative to its population, Israel is the largest immigrant-absorbing nation on earth. Immigrants come in search of democracy, religious freedom, and economic opportunity.
26. Israel was the first nation in the world to adopt the Kimberly process, an international standard that certifies diamonds as "conflict free."
27. Israel has the world's second highest per capita rate of publishing new books.
28. Israel is the only country in the world that entered the 21st century with a net gain in its number of trees, made more remarkable because this was achieved in an area considered mainly desert.
29. Israel has more museums per capita than any other country.
30. In the field of medicine, Israeli scientists developed the first fully computerized, no-radiation diagnostic instrumentation for breast cancer.
31. An Israeli company developed a computerized system for ensuring proper administration of medications, thus removing human error from medical treatment. Every year in US hospitals 7,000 patients die from treatment mistakes.
32. Israel's Givun Imaging developed the first ingestible video camera, so small it fits inside a pill. Used to view the small intestine from the inside, the camera helps doctors diagnose cancer and digestive disorders.
33. Researchers in Israel developed a new device that directly helps the heart pump blood, an innovation with the potential to save lives among those with heart failure. The new device is synchronized with the heart's mechanical operations through a sophisticated system of sensors.
34. Israel leads the world in the number of scientists and technicians in the workforce, with 145 per 10,000, as opposed to 85 in the US, over 70 in Japan, and fewer than 60 in Germany. With over 25% of its work force employed in technical professions, Israel places first in this category as well.
35. A new acne treatment developed in Israel, the ClearLight device, produces a high-intensity, ultraviolet-light-free, narrow-band blue light that causes acne bacteria to self-destruct -- all without damaging surroundings skin or tissue.
36. An Israeli company was the first to develop and install a large-scale solar-powered and fully functional electricity generating plant (in southern California's Mojave desert).
37. Israel did all of the above while engaged in regular wars with an implacable enemy that seeks its destruction and an economy continuously under stress by having to spend more per capita on its own protection than any other country on earth.

Learn more about Yom Ha'Atzmaut here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yom_Ha%27atzma%27ut

Have a great Tuesday!

Shalom,
Maksim-Smelchak.

P.S.
Hat tip to Elder of Zion, Michelle & BlueStar PR. Todah Raba! (Thanks!)
http://elderofziyon.blogspot.com/2007/04/yom-haatzmaut.html

P.S.S.
A joke for the celebration:

Digging to a depth of 1,000 meters last year, French scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 1,000 years. The French came to the conclusion that their ancestors had a telephone network centuries ago.

Not to be outdone by the French, English scientists dug to a depth of 2,000 meters. Shortly thereafter headlines in the U.K. newspapers read:"English archeologists have found traces of a 2,000-year-old fiber-optic cable and have concluded that ancestors had an advanced high-tech digital communications network a thousand years earlier than the French.

"One week later, Israeli newspapers reported the following: "After digging as deep as 5,000 meters in a Jerusalem marketplace, they found absolutely nothing." They thus concluded that 5,000 years ago Jews were using wireless technology.

Notes regarding photos / pictures: These are not all my images. I am using various images from around the web, mostly from public sources and/or private sources used with permission. I have tried to include only images under public domain, creative commons, or fair use. If I have inadvertently violated any copyrights, please inform me and I will remove your image/s (if it is indeed an infringement).

HUMOUR: Bill Gates Hiring Process Joke (11 April 2007)

. I love Terminator movie mock-ups and this is a Bill Gates themed post...

Hi Everyone,

I love a good joke and have had a few good ones tossed my way lately... Enjoy!

My good buddy L-4 loves the Ferengi of Star Trek...
This joke graphic seemed to follow...

Bill Gates decides to organize an enormous session of recruitment for a chairman for Microsoft Europe. The 5,000 candidates are all assembled in a large room. One of the candidates is Maurice Cohen, a little Parisian-Jewish Tunisian.

Bill Gates thanks all the candidates for coming and asks that all those who do not know JAVA program language rise and leave. 2,000 people rise and leave the room. Maurice Cohen says to himself - "I do not know this language but what have I got to lose if I stay? I'll give it a try."

Bill Gates asks all the candidates that those who have never had experience of team management of more than 100 people rise and leave. 2,000 people rise and leave the room. Maurice Cohen says to himself - "I have never managed anybody but myself but what have I got to lose if I stay? What can happen to me?" So he stays.

Then Bill Gates asks all the candidates who do not have excellent management diplomas to rise and leave. 500 people rise and leave the room. Maurice Cohen says to himself - "I left school at 15 but what have I got to lose if I stay? So he stays in the room.

Lastly, Bill Gates asks all of the candidates who do not speak the Serbo-Croat language to rise and leave. 498 people rise and leave the room. Maurice Cohen says himself - "I do not speak Serbo-Croat but what the hell! - have I got anything to lose?" So he stays in the room.

He finds himself alone with one other candidate - everyone else has gone. Bill Gates joins them and says: "Apparently you are the only two candidates who speak Serbo-Croatian, so I'd now like to hear you both have a little conversation in that language!

Calmly Maurice turns to the other candidate and says to him: "Barukh ata Adonai."

The other candidate answers: "Eloheinu melekh ha'olam."

Just in case, you missed the punch line, the two candidates are speaking Hebrew, not Serbo-Croat!

I'd prefer this restaurant to our conventional Burger King...
My Lebanese friend Mahmoud sent me this joke graphic.

As an aside, if you've never tried schwarma, I highly recommend it. When it's done right, it's heavenly! Here's a link with more about schwarma (thinly sliced meat usually served with fresh vegetables in a pita pocket) if you've never heard of it:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schwarma

Next joke:

An Arab general was advancing on towards Israeli land, when he spotted a single Israeli soldier by some rocks, mocking and daring the advancing Arabs to come get him. The General sent a platoon to go deal with him, and was flabbergasted when it was wiped out and the soldier reappeared from behind the rocks.

So he sent a battalion to take out the enemy soldier, and it also was quickly decimated just out of sight.

Angered, he sent a whole division to make short work of the Israeli soldier, and it too was wiped out.

A single wounded straggler made it back to the Arab lines with the message:

"Don't go, it's a trap! There's two of them!"

This is my favorite Arab General...
My buddy Mahmoud in Lebanon sent me this joke graphic.

As an aside, I had an Egyptian cultural anthropology professor at university and she used to tell us about Egyptian society. One of the things she shared with us was a memory of when the Kentucky Fried Chicken fast food chain first arrived in Egypt. She mentioned that it was extremely popular and the chicken bucket was a status symbol in Cairo... she spoke about how people kept the buckets and displayed them proudly... it was a very "The Gods Must Be Crazy" moment. I seriously doubt that KFC still holds such a position in Egyptian popular culture, but it's still an amusing anecdote. She had all kinds of great stories and I really loved her. The only bummer about her classes was she made us learn some serious geography, as in big honk'in tests on the names and locations of EVERY country in the world. I learned a lot, but what a chore!

Another quick one:

Q. What's the difference between an Israeli and an Israelite?

A. About 40 pounds :-)

Thanks Hillary, Mahmoud, and Jarrod!

Have a great Wednesday!

Shalom,
Maksim-Smelchak.

Notes regarding photos / pictures: These are not all my images. I am using various images from around the web, mostly from public sources and/or private sources used with permission. I have tried to include only images under public domain, creative commons, or fair use. If I have inadvertently violated any copyrights, please inform me and I will remove your image/s (if it is indeed an infringement).

QUOTES: Unlikely Friendship (23 February 2007...

. Hi Everyone,

Sorry for not posting lately... between the flu striking me down and a busy life, I haven't had much time for the blog lately. However, I came across this quote recently and really enjoyed it... it sounds like it came from some kind of "self-improvement book" or "guide to relationships," but it came from an entirely different sort of book. See if you can figure out where it came from.

"Most of us have very few friends; we can count them on the fingers of one hand. We are surrounded by acquaintances, but intimate friends are few. A friendship that survives the years originates more than two people's quest for togetherness. It depends above all on their adjustment and acquiescence to each other's traits. Accepting friends is something like a 'package deal.' Some of their attributes are just what you want to see in someone, those very traits that make you want to be close to someone. Others you find downright unpleasant. With these, too, you must make your peace. You can't set out to change them. This is the only way to develop genuine companionship - a relationship put to the test in a moment of pain, of need for help, of yearning for an attentive ear or a shoulder to lean on."

"A Warrior's Way - Israel's Most Decorated Tank Commander Relives His Greatest Battles"
Pgs. 199-200. 1994 SPI paperback edition.
By: Brigadier General (ret.) Avigdor Kahalani.

It's hard to imagine that, in that quote, Kahalani is writing about the camaraderie between men-at-arms AKA soldiers. The quote could just as easily apply to male-female relationships or just about any other type of relationship.

I've long been a fan of Avigdor Kahalani; he has genuine qualities that are really hard to fake. He also has a "rags-to-riches" background and is of Yemenite descent, some of the many Jews who had long resided in the Arab world until Arab nationalism came to a heady brew in the beginning of the twentieth century. I've long followed his career and you can learn more about it here:

http://www.jewishvirtuallibrary.org/jsource/biography/kahalani.html

Just recently, I watched some specials about the 1973 Yom Kippur War on The Military Channel with an interview with Kahalani. Despite markedly non-native English, the man is a powerful speaker and it's easy to see how he motivated the men under his many commands.

If you have any interest in the history of the Middle East, I highly recommend reading any of his novels. I've enjoyed every single one of Kahalani's books that I've read. I will comment that SPI paperbacks do tend to have a large number of typos though.

Have a great weekend!

Shalom,
Maksim-Smelchak.

Notes regarding photos / pictures: These are not all my images. I am using various images from around the web, mostly from public sources and/or private sources used with permission. I have tried to include only images under public domain, creative commons, or fair use. If I have inadvertently violated any copyrights, please inform me and I will remove your image/s (if it is indeed an infringement).

RANDOM ACTS OF KINDNESS: Rental Cellos & Red Violins.

. Hi Everyone,

Omayn that yet another week has almost passed...

Yet again Treppenwitz has written (or borrowed) the kind of story that warms hearts over...

I highly recommend the Treppenwitz story to this one:

http://thecia.com.au/reviews/r/red-violin.shtml

The Rental Cello... an Israeli Story
[Some stories just have to be shared... this is one of those.]

My company recently finished a long and complex project in which we had partnered with a German company. This project required several engineers and specialists from the German company to spend extended periods of time here in Israel.

On one such scheduled visit that was to last three weeks, one of the German engineers decided he wanted to bring his 13-year-old daughter along with him. It would be a mini-vacation for her, and he figured she would keep him company in this strange desert city of Beer Sheva.

However, as this German engineer was preparing for the trip, a problem arose. It seems his daughter is an accomplished cellist and was scheduled to perform at a festival two weeks after they returned to Europe... so she would need to practice daily while she was in Israel. The problem was that her instrument was extremely valuable and their insurance company wouldn't cover it in a 'war zone'.

The German engineer contacted my coworker and explained the situation... and asked if there was anywhere in Beer Sheva to rent a cello for three weeks.

My coworker did some asking around and quickly discovered that finding a rental cello in Beer Sheva would be only slightly less likely than finding a lake... so he expanded his search. After umpteen phone calls to friends and associates he finally received a lead... the phone number of a place in Jerusalem that repairs violins.

He called the repair shop and spoke with a pleasant individual who owned and managed the place.

The problem was presented and the question asked: 'Did he have a cello that could be rented to the young visiting musician for three weeks?' Without missing a beat, the repair shop owner replied that it shouldn't be a problem, and gave directions to his shop. My coworker promptly relayed the news to Germany via email and the plans for the father-and-daughter trip went forward.

Fast-forward a few weeks.

The day the German engineer and his daughter arrived in Israel my coworker and his family hosted the two visitors at their home for dinner. Over the meal it was agreed that they would drive to the Jerusalem workshop the next day to pick up the rental cello.

The hour-and-a-half drive to Israel's capitol went smoothly and by late morning they were all standing in the 'violin repair shop' chatting with the owner... a mid-thirty-ish Israeli with a ponytail.

In truth the place was far more than a violin repair shop. It was a workshop filled with violins, violas, cellos and double basses. Repair was only a tiny portion of what went on in this shop as the owner was the third or fourth generation in his family who had been crafting and repairing classical string instruments by hand.

Every wall, nook and cranny was filled with stringed instruments of every type and vintage...the smell of wood and lacquer were heavy in the air... wood shavings littered the floor... and several work tables were strewn with components of unfinished instruments.

The owner of the shop brought my coworker and the two German guests tea and asked how he could be of assistance. My coworker reminded him of their phone conversation and all attention turned to the young woman in need of a practice cello.

The owner sized her up with his eyes and grabbed a cello that had been standing in an open case near his workbench. "Try this one to see if it's a fit" he said in a mishmash of English and German, handing her the instrument.

The young German girl sat down and began to expertly tune the cello and rosin the offered bow. After making a small adjustment to the height of the bottom peg she began to play one of the Bach Cello Suites. The instrument sang beautifully in her hands and the owner looked on appreciatively... clearly surprised at the young musician's skill.

After a few minutes he stopped her and had her try two other cellos... one which was slightly larger and finally a third that seemed older than the first two.

When she began to play the third cello the room was suddenly filled to overflowing with the sound coming from the instrument. The first two cellos had sounded nice to my coworker's untrained ears, but the third seemed to make everything in the room vibrate and resonate with each note played.

The girl stopped abruptly and stared in disbelief at the instrument. A few rushed words in German were translated to English by the engineer and then into Hebrew by my coworker for the shop owner:

"What kind of cello is this? I've never heard or felt music like this in all my years of playing!"

The owner of the shop beamed with pride and replied that it was nearly 300 years old and was one of his favorites. In fact, it was normally kept locked away and the only reason it was out on the shop floor was that he liked to make sure all the instruments were inspected and played regularly. He explained that he had just finished making a small adjustment to the placement of the bridge under the strings and was preparing to put it away when they had arrived.

In a very business-like manner the owner said with finality that this was the instrument she must use while she was visiting Israel. The father hesitated a bit and began to politely protest at the idea of taking responsibility for such an old and valuable instrument... and clearly he was worried about what kind of rental fee such an instrument would command.

The owner waved off the objections and told him to take the instrument for his daughter. "After all", he reasoned, "she has a festival to perform in, so she needs to practice on an instrument worthy of her skills."

All attempts by the German engineer to fix a price for the rental were waved off by the owner. The only thing he would say was "We can talk about money when you come back in three weeks".

Story continued at the Treppenwitz blog...

Check out his most excellent blog here:

http://bogieworks.blogs.com/treppenwitz/2007/02/the_rental_cell.html

Happy Friday and a Good Shabbat to all who celebrate!

Shalom,
Maksim-Smelchak.

Notes regarding photos / pictures: These are not all my images. I am using various images from around the web, mostly from public sources and/or private sources used with permission. I have tried to include only images under public domain, creative commons, or fair use. If I have inadvertently violated any copyrights, please inform me and I will remove your image/s (if it is indeed an infringement).

HUMOUR: "A Duck Walks In And..."

.Hi Guys,

Enjoyed this one... ALOT:

A duck walks into a pharmacy and asks the clerk, "Got any duck food?"

"No," says the clerk, "We don't sell duck food."

"OK," says the duck and walks out.

The next day the duck walks into the pharmacy and asks, "Got any duck food?"

The clerk once again replies, "No, like I told you, we don't sell duck food."

"OK," says the duck and walks out.

The next day the duck walks into the pharmacy and asks, "Got any duck food?"

The clerk says, "Hey look, I told you two times already that we don't sell duck food!"

"OK," says the duck and walks out.

The next day the duck walks into the pharmacy and says, "Got any duck food?"

This time the clerk yells, "We don't sell any duck food and if you come in here one more time asking, I am going to nail your little webbed feet to the ground!"

"OK," says the duck and walks out.

The next day the duck walks into the pharmacy and says, "Got any nails?"

"No," says the confused clerk.

The duck says, "Good, got any duck food?"

Many thanks to Dave, the Oz-raelli (Israeli from Oz), over at:

http://www.israellycool.com/blog


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Have a great Sunday!

Shalom,
Maksim-Smelchak.

P.S.
Charley, hope that you and Dave have a good ASL day!


Notes regarding photos / pictures: These are not all my images. I am using various images from around the web, mostly from public sources and/or private sources used with permission. I have tried to include only images under public domain, creative commons, or fair use. If I have inadvertently violated any copyrights, please inform me and I will remove your image/s (if it is indeed an infringement).

PERSONAL NEWS: Mazel Tov Dave & Kimbo!

. Hi Everyone,

I wanted to make two quick notes...

It was my friend Kimbo's birthday this past weekend and I wanted to wish him a belated and very loud...

Happy Birthday!

The above photo is of Kimbo (Guy in the center background glancing ominously at the patriotic cake) celebrating his birthday with some lesser guy, a "virtual unknown" (The funny-looking guy to the right) to the greater gaming community... probably a custodian or something like that... red "power" ties are so blah these days (As an aside, I have no idea who the "face" on the left is... could he be Kimbo's handservant?)...

And as a weird coincidence, U.S. Vice-President Dick Cheney bears a remarkable resemblance to Kimbo although I doubt he has anything like Kimbo's world famous gaming acumen.

This next photo is of Kimbo (On the right) and I (On the left in deep, deep thought!) playing games at ConQuest Sac 2006... Kimbo gave me a real beating while playing games at this convention... I wasn't kidding about Kimbo and his renowned gaming abilities! Kimbo looks much different when out of his customary suit and tie. He usually only wears flannel when hunting and playing certain other games...

And my friend Dave...

Mazel Tov on getting married!

They're both great guys and well known throughout the local gaming community for being fun folks to game with. Dave is well known for being a fanatical ASL (Advanced Squad Leader) player and Kimbo... for playing everything and anything!

Have a great day!

Shalom,
Maksim-Smelchak.

P.S.
Personally, I think Kimbo looks more like Ariel Sharon despite the Cheney similarity, but that's just me. I've always wondered if Arik was subtly giving the photographer the bird in this shot...

Notes regarding photos / pictures: These are not all my images. I am using various images from around the web, mostly from public sources and/or private sources used with permission. I have tried to include only images under public domain, creative commons, or fair use. If I have inadvertently violated any copyrights, please inform me and I will remove your image/s (if it is indeed an infringement).

HASBARA: Five Seconds of Fame With Dry Bones!

. Hi Everyone,

Just the other day ago, I had yet another five seconds of fame with Yaakov Kirschen, the creator of Dry Bones, a legendary comic strip artist who writes (...and draws) one of the most insightful (...and entertaining) strips out there today on the Middle East. Dry Bones never fails to get a good chuckle out me or draw a little schmaltz from the source...

Dry Bones Cartoonist Yaakov (Bones) Kirschen
(Entry from the National Cartoonists Society directory)
Another Brooklyn boy. Born March 8, 1938. Graduated from Queens College 1961. Wrote and drew funny cards for Norcross. After dismissal for loudness and jocular attitude became a freelance gag cartoonist for the former "Mad Mag" guys who were then doing "Cracked." Moved on to doing cartoons for Playboy. Included in several "Best Of" Playboy anthologies. Fell in with the anti-Vietnam War folks and was actually elected delegate to the 1968 Democratic convention in Chicago where, in spite of all the riots, was unable to get arrested. In 1971 moved to Israel, changed first name from Jerry to Yaakov, and in 1973 began drawing a daily editorial strip called Dry Bones. In 2003 the toon celebrated its 30th year in The Jerusalem Post. It has been reprinted or quoted by the The NY Times, Time Magazine, The LA Times, CBS, AP, etc. Forbes Mag said about Kirschen: "In the tradition of Nast, Herblock, and Mauldin."

The actual story is a little less exciting... you see I found a typo in the strip and mentioned it to him, BUT five seconds of fame is still FIVE seconds of fame!

Yikes!
Maksim-Smelchak was right!!
There was a typo, now fixed.
Thanx,
Yaakov.

At any rate, check out Dry Bones when you get a chance... great comic!

http://drybonesblog.blogspot.com/

Have a great Sunday!

Shalom,
Maksim-Smelchak.

Notes regarding photos / pictures: These are not all my images. I am using various images from around the web, mostly from public sources and/or private sources used with permission. I have tried to include only images under public domain, creative commons, or fair use. If I have inadvertently violated any copyrights, please inform me and I will remove your image/s (if it is indeed an infringement).

NOVELS: The Book Meme Catches Up To Me...

.
Hi Everyone,

Awhile back, my friend Abba Gav, tagged me with the book meme and I'm finally catching up to it.

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1. Name one book that changed your life:

"This is My God: The Jewish Way of Life" by Herman Wouk.
- This is one of Herman Wouk’s best books in myopinion, a very concise overview of Judaism and its’ meaning for secular Jews and just folks interested in knowing more about their Jewish neighbors from a religious or cultural viewpoint. An older lady friend of mine (as well as a former patient) gave it to me and I still use it at times when I want to re-clarify some point of interest for myself. It's one of my most valued books.

2. One book you've read more than once:

“Space Trilogy” by C.S. Lewis.
1. “Out of the Silent Planet”
2. “Perelandra”
3. “That Hideous Strength”
- I’ve had hankering lately to reread C.S. Lewis’“Space Trilogy” series… books as meaningful as Tolkien’s work or even C.S. Lewis’ better known works such as his “Narnia” children’s books. At times, his Space Trilogy reminds me of Burrough’s Barsoomian tales, Well’s Eloi from “The Time Machine” or even… the Traveller (classic sci-fi RPG) group called the Darrians.

3. One book you'd want on a desert island:

“Department of the Air Force, Search and Rescue Survival Manual, AFM 64-5”
- My father gave me a copy of either this manual or a related one as a boy and it was one of my favorite possessions. I still have it somewhere although it’s still packed away from my last move. It has instructions for everything from distilling water to finding food anywhere on the globe and more.

4. One book that made you laugh:

Anything by Dave Barry or Erma Bombeck:
- I can’t remember which one of these two authors I last read, but both Erma Bombeck and Dave Berry make my stomach hurt from laughing too much. Erma Bombeck, may she rest in peace, passed away a few years ago.

5. One book that made you cry:

“Genesis 1948: The First Arab-Israeli War” by Dan Kurzman.
- The struggle for Israel’s Independence in 1948 is a heart-wrenching true story of perserverance in the face of what must have seemed like insurmountable danger. There are so many stories of folks struggling bitterly just to survive, let alone prosper. What an amazing story.

6. One book you wish you'd written:

"Treason" by Orson Scott Card.
- Orson Scott Card made his break-through into the sci-fi industry with a short story named “Treason”that later turned into this book. It’s one of my favorites, a genius work that is fun to reread no matter how well you know the story. The story itslef is a classic sci-fi theme about evolution gone wild. I sometimes wonder if the classic fantasy RPG “Tekumel” and “Treason” are somehow related.

7. One book you wish had never been written:

“Orientalism” by Edward Said.
- This book, often considered a founding work in post-colonial theory, has been a huge contributor to the many misunderstandings and great difficulty that many academics, scholars and others have when trying to understand the differences between Western and Eastern cultures. The gist of the book is that Western authors can't critically judge Eastern culture because of their Western-slanted rose-coloured glasses. Meanwhile Said felt perfectly adequate to lay judgment down on Western literature. Moral equivalence and political correctness made great leaps forward when this book became disseminated.

8. One book you're currently reading:

“Mars” series by Kim Stanley Robinson.
- I’m currently on “Red Mars.” I never read the third book in this trilogy (it wasn’t written when I read the first two books in the series) and am looking forward to reading this series from beginning to end.
- I just finished reading David Brin's “Uplift” and“Uplift Storm” series.

9. One book you've been meaning to read:

“The Guide for the Perplexed” by Maimonides.
- I’ve always meant to read this book in its entirety rather than in excerpts sprinkled throughout other texts. The last book I had hankering to read in this manner was Plutarch’s “Lives,” which I enjoyed very much. It's sort of funny that Maimonides' "Guide For The Perplexed" is often mentioned in occult novels such as the Lovecraftian Cthulhu series and, interesting enough... in some of the Ghostbuster's movies.

10. Tag 5 people:

Andy Cowell
http://www.littleleadheroes.com/

Patrick Smyrl
http://pshobbyshed.blogspot.com/

Paul James “Tas” O’Grady
http://pauljamesog.blogspot.com/

PixelGeek (Zac Belado)
http://crusades.blogspot.com/

Yehuda Berlinger
http://jergames.blogspot.com/

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Have a great Friday!

Shalom,
Maksim-Smelchak.