GAMING NEWS: Revving Engines at Formula A-1 (10 May 2006)!

Hi Everyone,

First of all, I want to apologize for the delay in getting this update posted... my life has simply been hectic beyond imagining!

My baby sister (photo at right) graduated from community college last Friday and my entire family is very proud of her. She got a slower start with schooling than I did so seeing her earn two associate's degrees brought me a lot of pride and pleasure. For those of you who don't know, my petite baby sister is a fire fighter and watching her graduate from the fire fighter's academy a few year's ago was a kick... you see, my sister barely tops about 5'4" and for her to keep up with the sort of macho paramilitary guys that generally become firefighters was nothing short of miraculous. And to top that off, I caught some sort of flu at the end of last week and struggled through the end of last week.

And when it rains, it pours. My current job has had numerous calls for overtime so I've been working a large number of hours. And I'm also hearing back from a number of companies that I've applied to for jobs. I'll be interviewing for a management position with a local company later this week as of today (16 May 2006). So... I've had my hands full!

Last week, the gang gathered at A-1 Comics and we played games. The evening was relatively quiet but very satisfying. It's hard to ask for more than good company and a few good games!

If I had to pick a theme for the evening, I would go with the "race car" theme as Dave brought his copy of Formula De, which several of us enjoyed. And there was much more too... read on, maestro!

Racers, Head Mechanics and Sponsors Present:
- Crystal "Love," NASCAR Promotional Model & Shortcake Queen.
- Dick Michelsohn, Sponsor of the Beaten-Dick Racing Team, Ltd.
- Msr. Dave Story, Racer Extrordinaire & Rogue Cult Leader.
- Donna O'Flaherty, NASCAR Promotional Model & Head Mechanic of Team Bang!.
- Keith Mantooth, Outlaw Gunfighter & Head Mechanic of the Beaten-Dick Racing Team, Ltd.
- "Black Kimbo," Racer and Malevolent Taxman.
- Kurt, Ibn Ali, Sheik and Sponsor of Team Tupperware!
- Maksim (me!) Smelchak, Unknown Racer and Amateur Photographer of little skill.
- Mike O'Brien, Sponsor of Team Bang!
- Todd Blanco, Hot Latin Lover and Driver of the "BLUE" (not WHITE!) car of the TLC Team.
- Tony De Cinema De Noir, Racer and Film Professor from Italy.

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1. Familienbande

http://www.boardgamegeek.com/game/11081

Players:
- Dave: Winner!
- Dick: L.
- Kurt: L.

In this strange game, Dave, Dick and Kurt manipulated family trees to see who could come up with the ugliest children. When it comes to funky breeding, Dave had a natural advantage over the others and won this game... handily. Mazel Tov, Dave!

To the right, we have a photo of Dick... in a pink shirt, showing the rest of us how to not only look tough, but be tough! I have many a lesson to learn from men like Dick and Kurt... especially on how to be cool and tough. In a slip of the tongue that I'll probably never live down, I exclaimed that I couldn't "beat Dick." Sometimes, I just think that I'm hopeless... I mean Dick can even look "Miami Vice" cool in a pink shirt and all I can do is stick my foot in my mouth.

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2. Diabolo

http://www.boardgamegeek.com/game/21613

Players:
- Dave: L.
- Dick: Winner!
- Kurt: L.
- Maks: L.

Dick once again proved his superiority over us mere mortals! Go, Dick! Mazel Tov, Dick!

Kurt deserves an honorable mention for exceptional play. He also deserves a medal for repeatedly turning me down from taking his photo. Either Kurt is very vain regarding his personal appearance or he knows me for the lousy amateur photographer that I am.

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3. King's Blood

http://www.boardgamegeek.com/game/20675

Players:
- Dick: 25 pts. Winner!
- Keith (took over from Maks): 101 pts. L.
- Kimbo: 64 pts. L.
- Kurt: 71 pts. L.
- Mike (took over from Crystal): 57 pts. L.
- Todd: 74 pts. L.

In this strange anime themed game of quasi-European royalty, we saw the gang mix up aristocratic family trees in a way that made the English royal family look exceedingly normal. Dick, once again, demonstrated his prowess as a breeder and cleaned house... so to speak. Mazel Tov to you, Dick!

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4. Shopping, The Galleria!

http://retailtrafficmag.com/news/retail_14/index.html

Players:
- Crystal: Winner!
- Donna: Winner!
- Mike: L.
- Todd: L.

Crystal has been feeling some intense guilt over excessively teasing me about having a favorable win rate playing games with her so she is presenting me a piece of strawberry shortcake in this photograph (Thanks, Crystal!) to show her compassion for me. After her brief emotional display, she and Donna teamed up to play Shopping, the Galleria! and left us.

Todd and Mike lost out on that game.

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5. Yinsh!

http://www.boardgamegeek.com/game/7854

Players:
- Dave: Winner!
- Maks: L.

Dave and I played a quick game of Yinsh! while the rest of the gang finished playing King's Blood. Dave kicked my butt! Mazel Tov, Dave!

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6. Flaschenteufel (The Bottle Imp)

http://www.boardgamegeek.com/game/619

Players:
- Dave: Winner!
- Kimbo: L.
- Todd: L.

And Dave chewed a little more gum and kicked a little more ***. Mazel Tov AGAIN, Dave!

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7. Bang!

http://www.boardgamegeek.com/game/3955

Players:
- Dick: Deputy: Shot Down Like A Dog!
- Keith: Outlaw: Winner!
- Maks: Outlaw - Winner! (But a dead winner!)
- Mike: Sheriff: SDLAD!
- Tony: Renegade: SDLAD!

Displaying my lame skills as a wannabe Western anti-hero, I was slain very quickly in a game of Bang!. Keith turned the game around and slew the sheriff, which technically also made me a winner, but I was dead! Bummer. Mazel Tov, Keith!

We played with Mike's new expansion, which really changed game play.

Thanks for bringing the game and being such a good sport, Mike!

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8. Formula De

http://www.boardgamegeek.com/game/173

Racers:
- Dave: 3rd! in the green car!
- Kimbo: 5th! in the lemon car!
- Maks: 1rst! Winner! in the red car!
- Todd: 2nd! in the blue car!
- Tony: 4th! in the white car!

At right, you can see a photo of Monsieur Dave L'Idiotique, a famed racer from France, known for his extravagant mode of dress and polished pate.

And at left you can see "Black Kimbo," a racer from the Dakotas who is also known as the "Malevolent Tax Man!" Despite the happy expression on his face (was it gas?), poor Kimbo is busy moving and reestablishing himself as an "empty nest" gamer as all of his "little birds" are now out of the house. I send my condolences to him.

Poor Kimbo also displayed his amazing penchant... for bad luck. His rolled the absolute lowest number possible (that's bad) on the Formula De dice a number of times in a row. Happens to the best of us, Kimbo! I feel your pain.

And at right, you can see a photo of "Flash'in Blue Todd, the Holy Avenger." Noone knows exactly where he is from, but the rumor is that he changed his name to "blue" after years of being known as the "whitest" man on the block.

And here to the left, we see "Mad Friar Tony," famed racer from Italy. When Tony isn't hitting the bottle, he can push some mean accelerator pedal! Unfortunately, while Tony was actually in teetotaler mode, he missed a number of turns in his souped up Yugo racer. Can you see the pain on his face (maybe it was constipation... or consumption...)?

And to the right, is a fill-in photo for Maksim Smelchak as we seem to have lost our stock photo for him. For a relatively unknown race, he (really I) drove magnificently, securing a first place win. Mazel Tov to me, for the heck of it!



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9. Hot Car!

Players:
- Unknown

Noone knows where this hot car came from, but the rumors around A-1 Comics indicate that it belongs to a local sheik and his camel companion "Sheila." The sheik made most of his ill-gotten riches in corrupt Tupperware pyramid schemes and can occasional be spotted around A-1 buying smutty comic books when he isn't home watching cheap soap opera... at least, that's what I heard...

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Have a great week!

Shalom,
Maksim-Smelchak.