HUMOUR: Bill Gates Hiring Process Joke (11 April 2007)

. I love Terminator movie mock-ups and this is a Bill Gates themed post...

Hi Everyone,

I love a good joke and have had a few good ones tossed my way lately... Enjoy!

My good buddy L-4 loves the Ferengi of Star Trek...
This joke graphic seemed to follow...

Bill Gates decides to organize an enormous session of recruitment for a chairman for Microsoft Europe. The 5,000 candidates are all assembled in a large room. One of the candidates is Maurice Cohen, a little Parisian-Jewish Tunisian.

Bill Gates thanks all the candidates for coming and asks that all those who do not know JAVA program language rise and leave. 2,000 people rise and leave the room. Maurice Cohen says to himself - "I do not know this language but what have I got to lose if I stay? I'll give it a try."

Bill Gates asks all the candidates that those who have never had experience of team management of more than 100 people rise and leave. 2,000 people rise and leave the room. Maurice Cohen says to himself - "I have never managed anybody but myself but what have I got to lose if I stay? What can happen to me?" So he stays.

Then Bill Gates asks all the candidates who do not have excellent management diplomas to rise and leave. 500 people rise and leave the room. Maurice Cohen says to himself - "I left school at 15 but what have I got to lose if I stay? So he stays in the room.

Lastly, Bill Gates asks all of the candidates who do not speak the Serbo-Croat language to rise and leave. 498 people rise and leave the room. Maurice Cohen says himself - "I do not speak Serbo-Croat but what the hell! - have I got anything to lose?" So he stays in the room.

He finds himself alone with one other candidate - everyone else has gone. Bill Gates joins them and says: "Apparently you are the only two candidates who speak Serbo-Croatian, so I'd now like to hear you both have a little conversation in that language!

Calmly Maurice turns to the other candidate and says to him: "Barukh ata Adonai."

The other candidate answers: "Eloheinu melekh ha'olam."

Just in case, you missed the punch line, the two candidates are speaking Hebrew, not Serbo-Croat!

I'd prefer this restaurant to our conventional Burger King...
My Lebanese friend Mahmoud sent me this joke graphic.

As an aside, if you've never tried schwarma, I highly recommend it. When it's done right, it's heavenly! Here's a link with more about schwarma (thinly sliced meat usually served with fresh vegetables in a pita pocket) if you've never heard of it:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schwarma

Next joke:

An Arab general was advancing on towards Israeli land, when he spotted a single Israeli soldier by some rocks, mocking and daring the advancing Arabs to come get him. The General sent a platoon to go deal with him, and was flabbergasted when it was wiped out and the soldier reappeared from behind the rocks.

So he sent a battalion to take out the enemy soldier, and it also was quickly decimated just out of sight.

Angered, he sent a whole division to make short work of the Israeli soldier, and it too was wiped out.

A single wounded straggler made it back to the Arab lines with the message:

"Don't go, it's a trap! There's two of them!"

This is my favorite Arab General...
My buddy Mahmoud in Lebanon sent me this joke graphic.

As an aside, I had an Egyptian cultural anthropology professor at university and she used to tell us about Egyptian society. One of the things she shared with us was a memory of when the Kentucky Fried Chicken fast food chain first arrived in Egypt. She mentioned that it was extremely popular and the chicken bucket was a status symbol in Cairo... she spoke about how people kept the buckets and displayed them proudly... it was a very "The Gods Must Be Crazy" moment. I seriously doubt that KFC still holds such a position in Egyptian popular culture, but it's still an amusing anecdote. She had all kinds of great stories and I really loved her. The only bummer about her classes was she made us learn some serious geography, as in big honk'in tests on the names and locations of EVERY country in the world. I learned a lot, but what a chore!

Another quick one:

Q. What's the difference between an Israeli and an Israelite?

A. About 40 pounds :-)

Thanks Hillary, Mahmoud, and Jarrod!

Have a great Wednesday!

Shalom,
Maksim-Smelchak.

Notes regarding photos / pictures: These are not all my images. I am using various images from around the web, mostly from public sources and/or private sources used with permission. I have tried to include only images under public domain, creative commons, or fair use. If I have inadvertently violated any copyrights, please inform me and I will remove your image/s (if it is indeed an infringement).