SHORT STORIES: "Ground Zero, An Immortal Psychopath & Several Centuries of Extensive Genetic Engineering"

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TOP: 23SKDU's awesome custom Raven Wing!

Hi All,

The other day ago I was reminiscing about all the great Stargrunt and Dirtside II games I used to enjoy with my friends in the 1990's and it reminded me of the old Star Grunt listserv and one of the best pieces of short fiction of I've ever read. I scoured the Internet looking for it, E-mailed some friends, and then, in a sudden moment of recall, remembered that my friend Andreas AKA Javelin-98 kept a copy on his site. So, without further ado, enjoy!

"40K vs. Stargrunt!"

"Ground Zero, an Immortal Psychopath and..

Several Centuries of Extensive Genetic Engineering"

By: Tom Sullivan.

Fair warning: The following short story contains some cursing AKA foul language, and lots of it! Under the circumstances, such language use seems not so much inappropriate as it does mandatory.

"Christ," whispered Pugh, "It looks like someone slapped a set of treads onto a dumpster!"

Kemmerman snorted his agreement. "And check out Buck Rogers there! Sticking his big, ugly ol' head outta the hatch, and not even bothering to stick a helmet on it! Think he's got a 'Shoot Me' sign on his back, too?"

"Cut it," snapped the sergeant, "We've got work to do here. Sorenson, have you got a lock yet?"

"Yessir," he replied, his gaze remaining fixed on the Scorpion's display. "Ready when you are, sir."

Nodding, the sergeant tapped at his com unit. "Jessup? You ready?" He nodded again at the reply. "All right then, on my mark...NOW!!"

There was a sudden sharp crack, and the enemy officer’s head vanished, replaced by a rapidly dispersing red mist. This sound was followed a heartbeat later with a loud "Crump!" as the Scorpion rocket penetrated the side of the APC. The vehicle skewed sideways, smoke and flame billowing from the hole in its side, as the second rocket hit, this time impacting at the rear.

TOP: All of 23SKDU's Raven Wing are mounted on...
...custom motor bikes!

The APC exploded with a satisfying roar, scattering pieces of men and metal across the field. "That," Pugh said with feeling, "was abso-fuckin-lutely beautiful. You know that? That's a goddamn piece of art right there, Billy! You should get down there and sign it, you know?"

Sorenson shrugged as he repositioned himself, targeting the second APC. "It's eighty percent inspiration, ten percent perspiration, and one hundred and ten percent detonation, my man."

The APC shuddered, and obligingly lost a tread, as the rocket hit it.

"It's a damned good thing that you can shoot, buddy," Pugh said, "...cause you sure as shit can't add." He shook his head, waving at the men spilling out of the crippled vehicle. "Now look at that! Bright red armor? What are they, color-blind? Or just stupid?"

TOP: Even the regular grunts have custom rides.

"Neither," interrupted the sergeant, "they're arrogant and VERY well armored. Now, shut up and shoot."

"Yessir," Pugh muttered, shouldering his rifle. "Shooting away, sir. Doesn't seem to be doing much good, sir."

"When I want your opinion, Pugh, I'll be sure to tell you what it is, understand? Just keep firing. And Sorenson, wait for my command, dammit!"

The armored men seemed largely indifferent to the rifle fire, only a few even bothering to return it.

Miller shook his head as he sprayed bullets down the hill.

TOP: 23SKDU's Raven Wing Master is an amazing conversion!

"Jesus, what the fuck are they firing? Howitzers? Those are the biggest goddamn rifles I've ever seen!"

Pugh snorted. "Yeah, but do think they can actually hit anything with 'em? Might as well just throw the damned things at us for all the good they're doing!" He yelped, jerking back as a crater was blasted into the ground a foot away from his head.

"Yeah, yeah...fuck you too, Murphy!"

"You know," Pugh noted after a moment, "they really don't seem very happy, sir. In fact," he added, as he changed clips, "they seem downright pissed. Sir."

The sergant ignored him. "Jessup? There's a guy down there with a very big gun. Yeah, the one painted yellow. Eliminate him for me, would you?"

There was a flash, a bang, and one of the men at the bottom of the hill collapsed, a neat little hole visible in the side of his helmet. Pugh made an approving noise. "Very nice, Jessup! You and Sorenson, you're like the... the... Boticellis of the battlefield, you know? Fuckin' artistes, I tell ya!"

“‘Boticellis of the battlefield’, Pugh? What are you on, anyway?”

“It’s called culture, buddy. Give it a try sometime. You’ll like eating with a fork, I just know it!”

"Um, sir?" Miller said, abruptly, "Sir? They appear to be charging, sir. Up the hill, sir."

"Yeah," the sergeant replied with satisfaction, "Yeah, they certainly are, aren't they? The big bastards are nothing if not predictable. Just keep firing, private. Williams, Cook? Be ready."

"My God," Pugh marveled, "the guy in front has a sword! A goddamn sword! What’s in his other pocket, a flint fucking spear?"

They did, he had to admit to himself, certainly LOOK impressive. Each stood at least seven feel tall, and their brilliant red armor made them look even bigger. "Kind of a shame they're such morons," he muttered.

TOP: Great poise on the Raven Wing Master!

Two of the charging men fell, neither making it even halfway up the hill, but the remaining seven kept coming, firing, apparently at random, as they did.

"Now!" the sergeant shouted. "Now, dammit!"

The man in the lead, the one waving the sword, was cut almost in half by the incoming plasma bolt. Those behind him stopped sort, caught in the crossfire as William's and Cook's squads opened fire. Sorenson fired the Scorpion, catching one man squarely in the center of his chest. The result was, while interesting, far from pretty.

The concentrated fire of fifteen men proved sufficient. Almost. Only one man made it to the top of the hill, his armor cracked and pitted with innumerable bullet holes. Moving with remarkable speed for such a large man, he surged forward, grabbing the sergeant by the throat before the rest of the squad could react.

"Now," the man rasped, his voice distorted by his helmet, "you shall die, in the Emperor's...."

*BLAM*

He stopped.

Looked down.

Saw the smoke rising from the barrel of the pistol pressed firmly against his stomach.

And fell, gently, to the ground.

The sergeant stepped back, rubbing gingerly at his throat. "He was a tough bastard, I'll give him that much," he said, hoarsely. He prodded at the corpse with his toe, dislodging the man's helmet with a sudden fierce kick.

"Jesus, what did they do?" asked Pugh, "Shave an ape?" The man's features were grotesquely exaggerated, almost to the point of caricature.

"That," said the sergeant, "is what happens when you combine several centuries of extensive genetic and bionic engineering with being raised from birth to worship an immortal psychopath. Makes you understand the Promixa Covenant, doesn't it?" He sighed. "Stupid goddamned fanatics. They think the entire universe should play by their rules. Well, fuck that. We're gonna show 'em how a war is SUPPOSED to be fought. Space Marines, my ass!" He kicked the corpse again, not gently.

"How do you like life at ground zero, asshole?"

FINIS!
Praise "Bob!"

And, before I forget, here's where you can find the site of Andreas AKA Javelin-98:
http://home.comcast.net/~kudby/

And the photos came from my buddy L-4's buddy: 23SKDU! You can check out a cool photo album of his work here:
http://s9.photobucket.com/albums/a53/23skdu/Ravenwing/

The figures in the photos are all 28mm GW Space Marines on heavily customized bikes.

Have a great Thursday!

Shalom,
Maksim-Smelchak.

Notes regarding photos / pictures / videos: These are not all my images and videos. I am using various images and videos from around the web, mostly from public sources and/or private sources used with permission. I have tried to include only images and videos under public domain, creative commons, or fair use. If I have inadvertently violated any copyrights, please inform me and I will remove your image/s (if it is indeed an infringement).

HUMOUR: If a Little Ego is Healthy, Then...

.I wish I was as popular with blue-skinned girls as James Tiberius Kirk was on TV...

Hi Everyone,

Normally when I look for parodies of motivational posters, I look to none other than Javelin-98, my good buddy, but this is one of those rare cases where a cool mock-u-motivational poster came from someone other than him! I wish I could say who it came from, but I received it as one of those mass E-mailing jokes that never seem to credit the origin of the Nile, so to speak, so... I can't credit whoever came up with this masterpiece, but if you know who the author is, please write me so I can properly credit them.

However, I can still refer you to Jav-98's awesome gaming-themed mock-u-motivational posters here:
http://s76.photobucket.com/albums/j20/javelin98/

And I always think of this operative phrase when trying to judge the awesomeness of those like Captain Kirk:

"If a little ego is healthy, then a BIG ego must be REALLY healthy!"

Have a great Wednesday!

Shalom,
Maksim-Smelchak.

P.S.
UPDATE: The poster came from this site:
http://echosphere.net/star_trek_insp/star_trek_insp.html

Notes regarding photos / pictures: These are not all my images. I am using various images from around the web, mostly from public sources and/or private sources used with permission. I have tried to include only images under public domain, creative commons, or fair use. If I have inadvertently violated any copyrights, please inform me and I will remove your image/s (if it is indeed an infringement).

MINI WARGAMING: Jav-98's 6mm Sci-fi Startown!

. Javelin-98's awesome 6mm city terrain tiles.

Hi Everyone,

Hope you're all keeping busy like me... in a good way. Life as usual has been pressing... my workplace lost a body so I'm pulling double duty until a new employee gets hired. And on that observation, I always seem to have FAR MORE ideas for blogging material than I have time!

Recently my good friend Andreas AKA Javelin-98 ("Jav98") shared some photos of an oustanding 6mm sci-fi project he's been working on: city tiles. So, without further ado, check these photos out (with commentaries from the Epicomms forums):

OVERVIEW of the four 6mm sci-fi city modules.

Jav: I've been working on something like this for some time, only using 12" square tiles. So far I have four tiles in various stages of completion -- a low-income residential area, an upscale residential area, a powerplant block, and a spaceport. My idea was to put the roadway around the edges in the single-lane square configuration with smaller roads criss-crossing the interior. While the tiles are all still in a state of infancy, I can post pics of what I have so far.

Okay, bear in mind that these are a work in progress of the utmost sort. The spaceport and powerplant are nearly done; the two residential blocks are still far from finished. The one covered with keyboard buttons was inspired by the Tau University entry by Vanvlak from a past EpiComp (I think '05). After starting the first two tiles, I realized that aligning the streets would be a problem. That's why the powerplant and the more finished of the two residential tiles have streets along the margins.

INDUSTRIAL BLOCK: Spaceport.

Jav: The boards were really quite cheap, made mostly of "reclaimed" materials glued onto MDF textured with spackle. Some examples:

The cargo bunkers at the spaceport are made from electrical tape blister packaging. The landing pad is made from the bottom of a USB joystick package. The tower is a section of old Crayola marker topped with two bases (a flight base on top of an upside down hex-shaped slotta base). The only purchased content are the cargo containers from Old Crow and the gantry crane arm made from a Mechwarrior clickie tech TM mech.

Javelin-98's spaceport landing pad reminds me of the blast pits from the Traveller science fiction setting.

INDUSTRIAL BLOCK: Powerplant.

Jav: The power plant was made from two "reclaimed" items: the bottom is made from the top lid of the same USB joystick package that I used for the spaceport and the steam stack is made from a pour spout for paint cans which I found at Home Despot for $1.50 USD. The buildings with windows were made from plasticard (the type with 1/8" squares on it) while the other buildings are made from various blister packs. The fence is cross-stitch fabric. The big oil tank thingie (technical term, of course) is the lid from my wife's last can of styling mousse. My next step with this block is to add some rust streaks and dirty up the asphalt with some playground sand.

RESIDENTIAL BLOCK: Middle-income Housing.

Jav: This upscale residential block is made using two types of purchased items: the mosque and four JR Miniatures Middle Eastern houses. OK, maybe three if you include the trees. Everything else is either keyboard keys or blockhouses made using plaster poured into ice-cube trays. I decorated the inside the of the ice-cube tray with bits of plasticard and sprue, which left some nice impressions (...like the skylights-slash-rooftop pools). I'm still in the process of painting this one; after it gets a clearcoat, I'll hit the houses with a wash.

RESIDENTIAL BLOCK: Low-income housing.

(Photo not available, but it is pictured in other photos as the unfinished residential tile

...made from spare computer keyboard keys.)

Jav: The fourth tile is still very much in progress, needing more paint, flocking, trees, and street markings. It was the first tile I started on, but the others were more interesting, so they got more love. I have this plan in the back of my mind to create 12" square vacuformed terrain tiles. I think that something like that would work well and give people instant cities for a very low price. Sadly, I know nothing about vacuforming, so that project is quite a ways off.

Moscovian: With that level of ingenuity, I am shocked you bought your trees! I can gve you a very cheap alternative that IMHO looks better than the the ones they sell online. I used to make miniature trees for a landscaping company. The only drawback is you have to be careful how you store them or they won't last long. Still, I love all the goofy bits of stuff being turned into a work of art. I have collected a trash bag full of plastic containers and things for this very purpose. Every time we get something sealed in a plastic container I start eyeballing it and my wife gives me "the look."

Jav: I suppose I could have made trees myself, but in the interest of time and the interest of interest, I just bought some. Figured what the heck! My wife has given me "that look" too! Right after she recognizes why I'm standing motionless over the garbage can with a odd plastic bit in one hand and a contemplative look in my eye...

Once I finish these tiles, I'm going to do a downtown/financial district block with tall office buildings and skywalks, always loved the looks of those. I'll be putting a couple helipads on top, too, for air assault actions! These are meant to be urban tiles, so I won't be doing any farmland or anything of that sort... Any other thoughts, guys? I'm thinking of another industrial block (a factory), several more residential blocks (one with a hospital, to be sure), a military base block, and maybe a government/palace type block. We'll see.

Moscovian: Ideas for anyone to steal:
I was tinkering with the idea of a pneumatic transportation system. Recently I picked up a giant tube of candy from one of those mall kiosks (...you know, you fill it yourself with the flavored sugar and bounce off the walls for an hour). I looked at it after I was done and said, "Hmm, I bet an Epic figure sitting in a little car would fit nicely in there." Then I bought another one. It is about 2 & 1/2 feet long and gives you some good material to work with. Flexible but doesn't crease. I wanted to use it on a moonscape but you could adapt it to a futuristic cityscape as well, I am sure.

Or you could buy some of the great commuter trains from Old Crow:

6mm commuter train and elevated rail from Old Crow.

You can find Old Crow's site here:
http://www.oldcrowmodels.co.uk/

And you can find Andreas' site and Photobucket at these links:
http://home.comcast.net/~kudby/
http://s76.photobucket.com/albums/j20/javelin98/

My big hobby resolution for this year is to build a similar set-up. Andreas has set the standards high!

Thanks for sharing, Andreas AKA Jav-98!

Have a great Friday and a great weekend!

Shalom,
Maksim-Smelchak.

Notes regarding photos / pictures: These are not all my images. I am using various images from around the web, mostly from public sources and/or private sources used with permission. I have tried to include only images under public domain, creative commons, or fair use. If I have inadvertently violated any copyrights, please inform me and I will remove your image/s (if it is indeed an infringement).

HUMOUR: New SFB Motivational Posters (sic.)...

.

Hi Everyone,

I thought I should quickly make a small post about my friend, Andreas Udby's AKA Javelin-98's web site... He's a great guy, very generous with his time, generous with sharing his many fan-created game aids and always ready to brandish his wicked sense of humour!

The above poster is only one of many that he desihned on a lark... snarky spoofs of "motivatial posters" made for gamers. You can find a larger version of the poster here (...as well as the rest of the series):

http://s76.photobucket.com/albums/j20/javelin98/

Just in case you were wondering, the poster features an image of an ACTUAL Star Fleet Battles (SFB) game record sheet... just a wee bit complex, you might say...

And despite the complication inherent to the game, SFB can be fun. I've shared many a game of SFB with good friends over the years and most recently with Vynnie & Gang, whose awesome web site can be found here:

http://www.recon-in-force.com/index.html

Andreas's web site, which is chocked full of gaming goodness, can be found here:

http://home.comcast.net/~kudby/

Enjoy! Have a great day!

Shalom,
Maksim-Smelchak.