6mm-Minis

6mm-Minis is Maksim-Smelchak's blog to discuss gaming, miniatures, books, movies, food, Israel, Judaism, life in general and other funny crud. My favorite scale of miniatures is 6mm, which is also called 1/285 or 1/300 scale. I enjoy many different kinds of games including ancients, Napoleonics, WWI, WWII, the Arab-Israeli conflict, Car Wars AKA Autoduel (a sort of crash'n'derby automobile combat game), 6mm Godzilla AKA Kaiju games, and science fiction games. I'm open to everything though!

Friday, March 30, 2007

HUMOUR: Drek'ish Jokes & Films (30 March 2007)

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Hi Everyone,

Despite my good intentions to get a couple of gaming session reports up and please my gaming friends and readers, I've been distracted by work... and, well... some other things. Among them is the below joke that a friend sent me:

THE MASTER GENEALOGY OF JACK SCHITT

For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt?

We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt!' Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way.

Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They had one son, Jack.

In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt. Against her parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout.

After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock.

Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt.

Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Horse.

Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.

Now when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt,' you can correct them.

Sincerely,
Crock O. Schitt

NOTE:
PLEASE PASS THIS ON TO ANYONE WHO NEEDS A LAUGH.

REMEMBER:
LAUGHING LOWERS THE BLOOD PRESSURE.

I've always enjoyed this sort of humour... even if I probably ought NOT to!


Hearing this joke reminded me of one of my favorite actors: Rutger Hauer

And the movie it reminded me of was "Blind Fury," a 1989 movie that I still recall fondly.

Learn more about it here:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0096945/

In one scene in the movie, two hillbilly brothers are hunting the Rutger Hauer character and at one point, they're trapped in an elevator when all of a sudden, the doors open and the Hauer character stabs the elevator box (...with a Katana... long story), causing a short circuit and trapping them, to which they reply with this witty and brilliant dialogue:

Lyle Pike: Sh*t!
Tector Pike: F*ck!
Lyle Pike, Tector Pike (Looking at each other together to say): Sh*t-f*ck!

Of course, all hillbilly brothers have names like Lyle and Tector Pike...

Instant crystal-clear recall!

Pretty sad to think that I wasted precious grey cells remembering that one.

Rutger Hauer has been in some other great movies including the sci-fi cult classic "Blade Runner" adapted from the Phillip K. Dick story "Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?"


Learn more about Dick and his story "Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?" here:
http://wsu.edu/~brians/science_fiction/bladerunner.html

Have a great Friday and a Shabbat Shalom to my Jewish readers!

Shalom,
Maksim-Smelchak.

P.S.
Thanks for the joke, Stephen and Jodi!

P.S.S.
Reminds me of the ol' joke about the Lipshitz Diamond...

And if you must know the ol' joke about the Curse of The Lipshitz Diamond, check out this link:
http://www.netfunny.com/rhf/jokes/89q4/curse.907.html

Notes regarding photos / pictures: These are not all my images. I am using various images from around the web, mostly from public sources and/or private sources used with permission. I have tried to include only images under public domain, creative commons, or fair use. If I have inadvertently violated any copyrights, please inform me and I will remove your image/s (if it is indeed an infringement).

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3 Comments:

  • At 6:18 PM, March 30, 2007, Blogger Professor Howdy said…

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    Dearest Friend,

    After much thought, I have decided
    to leave 'Thought & Humor'.

    The reasons are many but they all boil
    down to this: Nobody writes me anymore
    so it must mean that you don't like me
    or my UNC jokes, riddles, cartoons
    or pictures:O(

    I was hoping people would contact me
    by posting a kind message in the
    "comments" on this blog but no one has.

    Goodbye,
    Howdy

    P.S. All of you liberals can now be happy
    because I am giving up. You have finally
    won after 10 years of publishing...

    P.P.S. The sad song playing on my blog
    really fits my mood! You know I think
    that I might have possibly visited your
    site awhile back. Do you remember
    or am I wrong?

     
  • At 11:42 PM, March 30, 2007, Blogger Tas said…

    most amusing Maks - I recall "Blind Fury" well. I remember a scene where he slices a guy's eyeborws off without any other damage, followed up by the witty comment "I also do circumcision"!

     
  • At 10:15 AM, April 01, 2007, Blogger MaksimSmelchak said…

    Hi Tas,

    Thanks for the comments.

    It was a great if not much underrated movie!

    Shalom,
    Maksim-Smelchak.

     

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