HUMOUR: Field Trip Permission Slip For Men (7-24-2007)
Hi All,
I really enjoyed the following sent by a friend:
APPLICATION FOR GOING OUT WITH THE BOYS
Name of Boyfriend/Fiancé/Husband:
____________________I request permission for a leave of absence from the highest authority in my life for the following period:
Time of return:
Date:
Time of departure:
NOT to exceed:
Should permission be granted, I do solemnly swear to only visit the locations stated below, at the stated times. I agree to refrain from hitting on or flirting with other women. I shall not even speak to another female, except as expressly permitted in writing below. I will not turn off my cell phone after two beers, nor shall I consume above the allowed volume of alcohol without first phoning for a taxi AND calling you for a verbal waiver of said alcohol allowance.
I understand that even if permission is granted to go out, my girlfriend/fiancé/wife retains the right to be pissed off with me the following week for no valid reason whatsoever.
Amount of alcohol allowed (units):
Beer:
Wine:
Liquor:
Total:
Locations to be visited:
____________________
Females with whom conversation is permitted:
____________________IMPORTANT – STRIPPER CLAUSE:
Notwithstanding the female contact permitted above, I promise to refrain from coming within one hundred (100) feet of a stripper or exotic dancer. Violation of this Stripper Clause shall be grounds for immediate termination of the relationship.
I acknowledge my position in life. I know who wears the trousers in our relationship, and I agree it’s not me. I promise to abide by your rules & regulations.I understand that this is going to cost me a fortune in chocolates & flowers.
You reserve the right to obtain and use my credit cards whenever you wish to do so. I hereby promise to take you shopping at Tuesday Morning, should I not return home by the approved time. On my way home, I will not pick a fight with any stranger, nor shall I conduct in depth discussions with the said entity. Upon my return home, I promise not to urinate anywhere other than in the toilet. In addition, I will refrain from waking you up, breathing my vile breath in your face, and attempting to breed like a (drunken) rabbit.
I declare that to the best of my knowledge (of which I have none compared to my BETTER half), the above information is correct.Signed:
____________________
Boyfriend/Fiancé/Husband:Request is: APPROVED / DENIED
This decision is not negotiable. If approved, cut permission slip below and carry at all times.
………………………………………………………………...........
Permission for my boyfriend/fiancé/husband to be away for the following period of time:
Date:
Time of departure:
Time of return:
Signed –
_______________________
Girlfriend/Fiancé/Wife:
Thank goodness that I don't really need one of these... yet.
Shalom,
Maksim-Smelchak.
Notes regarding photos / pictures / videos: These are not all my images and videos. I am using various images and videos from around the web, mostly from public sources and/or private sources used with permission. I have tried to include only images and videos under public domain, creative commons, or fair use. If I have inadvertently violated any copyrights, please inform me and I will remove your image/s (if it is indeed an infringement).
Labels: Humour
2 Comments:
At 4:21 AM, July 26, 2007, Paul O'G said…
Mine get issued already stamped "Denied" these days...which is why its cool to deploy away for 6 months! heh, just kidding of course :-P
At 10:00 AM, July 26, 2007, MaksimSmelchak said…
Hi Tas,
Bummer!
Shalom,
Maksim-Smelchak.
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