HUMOUR: Does a Bear **** In The Woods? And Will a Chaplain See It If He Does?

Hi Everyone,

My friend Mark Steinberg sent me this one:

A priest, a Pentecostal preacher, and a Rabbi all served as chaplains to the students of the University of Montana in Missoula. They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop. One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear.

One thing led to another and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it.

Seven days later, they came together to discuss the experience.

Father Flannery, who had his arm in a sling, was on crutches, and had various bandages, spoke first. "Well," he said, "I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him I began to read to him from the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle a lamb. The bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation."

Reverend Billy Bob went next. He had one arm and both legs in casts, and an IV drip attached to his wheelchair. In his best fire and brimstone oratory, he claimed, "WELL, brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And, then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But, that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So, I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So, I quick-like DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And, just like you
said, Father Flannery, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the day PRAISING Jesus."

They both looked down at the rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction and there were IV's running in and out of him with multiple monitors beeping and glowing at his bedside. He was in seriously bad shape.

The rabbi slowly looked up and whispered, "Well, looking back on it, circumcision may not have been the best way to start..."

And my friend Mojarn sent me this link to a fantasy RPG (Role Playing Game) type joke making fun of the spellcasting requirements in SOME fantasy games:

http://www.giantitp.com/cgi-bin/GiantITP/ootscript

Have a great day!

Chag Sameach and Shalom,
Maksim-Smelchak.

P.S.
I got the "Rabbi Bear" graphic from a Chabad site about Jewish names that can be found here:

http://www.rabbiriddle.org/rabbi-riddle/01-13.htm

Many Jewish names mean things:
Malka means "queen."
Yonah means "dove."
Dov means "bear."

P.S.S.
My name "Maksim" apparently means "charming" in Hebrew. A friend named Sigal told me that. Now, I just have to work on earning that appellation...