6mm-Minis

6mm-Minis is Maksim-Smelchak's blog to discuss gaming, miniatures, books, movies, food, Israel, Judaism, life in general and other funny crud. My favorite scale of miniatures is 6mm, which is also called 1/285 or 1/300 scale. I enjoy many different kinds of games including ancients, Napoleonics, WWI, WWII, the Arab-Israeli conflict, Car Wars AKA Autoduel (a sort of crash'n'derby automobile combat game), 6mm Godzilla AKA Kaiju games, and science fiction games. I'm open to everything though!

Thursday, June 19, 2008

HUMOUR: "Pilots & Mechanics: A Love Affair" (19 June 2008)

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TOP: UPS delivers anywhere, anyhow!
Hi All,

My good friend Stephane Aramande sent me this one:

Just in case you need a laugh: Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one; let that be a relief to those of us who fly routinely in our jobs. After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a 'gripe sheet,' which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor.

TOP: Those wacky men and their flying machines.

Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.

By the way, UPS is the only major airline that has never had an accident.

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

*P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

*P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

*P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

*P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

*P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

*P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

*P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.

*P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

*P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

*P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

*P: Aircraft handles funny. ...
(I love this one!)
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.

*P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

*P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.*

And the best one for last:

*P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.

I always enjoy a good laugh... LOL

Have a great Thursday!

Shalom,
Maksim-Smelchak.

Notes regarding photos / pictures / videos: These are not all my images and videos. I am using various images and videos from around the web, mostly from public sources and/or private sources used with permission. I have tried to include only images and videos under public domain, creative commons, or fair use. If I have inadvertently violated any copyrights, please inform me and I will remove your image/s (...if it is indeed an infringement).

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