HUMOUR: Yanks In Europe! The Fineries of Belgium.

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Hi Everyone,

A friend of mine recently forwarded me this:

Hello Europhiles,

A friend's 19 yr. old son is currently in Belgium bike racing with the US National team. As a fairly skilled writer he sent the note below.

Sincerely,
Dean "Whatshisname".

I changed Dean's last name to hide his identity (We all know him anyway), but here's what the cyclist wrote:

*** WARNING: DO NOT READ THIS IF YOU ARE A EUROPHILE! ***

Date: Tue, 1 Aug 2006 23:10:01 -0700

Belgium condensed.

- Locals are either rude as poop, or just indifferent.
- A small percent are nice.
- The small percent of nice people make fun of you because you're American.
- The girls are hideous...
- All cars are tiny.
- All cars are manuals.
- Not many cars at all.
- NO FORKING SUVs!!!
- Everything is close together
(Grocery store, bakery, bar, cafes, retails, train station, and the house are all within one mile.)
- All buildings are made from bricks.
- No football, baseball or basketball.
- Cycling and soccer are huge, really huge!
- Belgium cyclists are forkin' dip shits to Americans.
- It rains everyday.
- The chocolate is awesome.
- The frites are awesome.
- The waffles are awesome.
- If I liked beer, I'm sure it'd be awesome.
- Everything else is gross, especially the girls.

For as shitty as it sounds, it's really been awesome so far and I like Belgium a lot.

- Erek.

You can get a real idea of Erek's world views just from this little snippet of a letter.

Have a great Friday!

I'm going to donate blood today. For those of you have never donated blood, I highly recommend it. It's one of the easiest ways to help others in need.

Shalom,
Maksim-Smelchak.